Gas lighting and more!


We're not alone. Often we do have that feeling when something happens to us that seemed to be the far from your bed show in advance.

Cancer, depression and burnouts and suddenly have a TIA or a heart attack.

I can't name everything. The list is so long. But it happens to us all in our lives and we often think “Why me?” and we experience that understanding and compassion of our employers and other agencies is a long way to find us. Fortunately not always!

Even within the family and friends, it may happen to you that you get comments and misunderstanding! Some people do not understand the concept of chronically ill and wish you better, which is often well meant but it is wrong! After all, you no longer get better and can only hope for stability.

That misunderstanding and behavior of others often causes you to fall even further away because you miss the support you so desperately need. And mental problems then lie in wait soon!

In my speech with fellow people, I came across a new term for me:

-Gaslighting: This is a form of psychological manipulation in which the perpetrator is out to mentally dismay his victim (opponent). This is what the perpetrator tries to achieve by casting doubt on the victim's own common sense. The gas lighter will deny reality, or claim exactly the opposite of previous statements made by him. The term comes from the title of the play Gaslight, which has also been filmed several times. The term is also used in scientific, psychological literature and in political journalistics.- (source: wikipedia)

Gaslighting by a doctor means that you are not taken seriously by your doctors and that doctors do not take our knowledge about ourselves seriously. Because symptoms are seen as part of an already established diagnosis (or psychological background is suspected) nothing else is done with it and blown away in the case of the lady I spoke to. You get to hear it's between your ears! So you stay behind with your complaints and worries and feel misunderstood but sometimes you also start doubting yourself. After all, the doctor can not find anything blood results are good and everything is still okay while the complaints with which you went to a doctor remain.

After talking to her, I realized that this happens to me sometimes. One of my children has been sucking with complaints for years and only after we switched pediatrician did the diagnosis go from “between the ears” to a chronic inflammation that could only be solved by surgery! He has been so refurbished after the operation and is now complaint-free!

But the whole point is actually acknowledging such behavior among doctors and other workers, and then taking our strength to go a different path if we are not taken seriously!

Did it ever happen to you, what did you do with it?

#gaslighting #onbegrip #gezondheid