10 Life-Changing Things People Have Told Me in My Life (Warning: Graphic) | Babita de Boer

10 Life-Changing Things People Have Told Me in My Life (Warning: Graphic)

35 · 8 min read · 02 Mar 2023 · 12 · 12 · 18

Throughout my life, I have been fortunate enough to receive advice from many wise and experienced people. From family members to friends, teachers to mentors, their words have left a lasting impact on me. Here are ten of the most valuable pieces I have received: the good, the bad and the ugly. Even though some people do not remain in my life, their words still resonate in me and some have even shaped me into whom I am today. Some were not even nice words, some were actually very mean. However, they have helped me see what was wrong with me as a person and has helped me to change into a better person.

Disclaimer: these experiences are very personal to me and some very graphic, handle them with care.

1. "You're not lonely, you're just alone"

Being alone can be a difficult concept to grapple with, especially for people who have never been alone. For me, I have been alone almost my entire life. And I also enjoy it. It's easy to equate being alone with being lonely, but the two are not the same. Being alone can be a wonderful opportunity to reflect, recharge and focus on personal growth. Being lonely is the negative feeling that may occur after being alone.

It can provide space for introspection and self-discovery, and allows us to do the things we truly enjoy without external distractions. It's important to remember that we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely, just as we can be alone and feel content.

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18 comments

Madeleine

Nice, open educational blog. I recognize a number of things in it. Number 1: I also have both. I also love being alone and sometimes I feel lonely even though I'm not alone. It's hard to explain, but sometimes you have things that someone else doesn't... Show moreNice, open educational blog. I recognize a number of things in it. Number 1: I also have both. I also love being alone and sometimes I feel lonely even though I'm not alone. It's hard to explain, but sometimes you have things that someone else doesn't understand or feel, and sometimes it's lonely. Especially if, as a young child, you had to deal with traumatic things that you had to survive in. You're a bit dumb, because you'll fix it yourself. In addition, I was always an outsider in our family, not in a negative way, but different from the other three. I'll never forget when someone said, “You're a special kid.” I asked, “Am I crazy?” To which the other said: “No, by special, I mean that you are someone who has a different view of life, artfully, with your own vision.” I found it quite difficult at the time and I've noticed all my life that communication, the view of life, is indeed at a different level, but I also have that with friends, I used to have a lot of friends and acquaintances. Wherever I walked it was “Hi”, “Hey Mad”, but there's nothing left. I'm running out of friends now. I've gone from being a friend to a loner. I also think that's because I just live in a different world and find that it is often difficult for others to relate to my thinking world. I see everything and life very creatively and can't match the society that runs from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. I also like depth and quickly drop out if it's too superficial. I am also sensitive, sometimes maybe a little too sensitive with a pitfall to be a perfectionist. That completely turned my life upside down when I was 21 and, fortunately, I kept it creative and disciplined, but no longer focused on perfectionism. All in all, I know that I am someone with a damaged past and who has also always lived in her own world and has thus found a way to get the best out of life. I am convinced that we need creativity and self-love enormously to keep moving forward.

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Mónica

I love people, but I also need loads of time alone. I really need "quiet time" just for me and it's strange how often people say "oh you must be so lonely". There is such a difference between those too. I think being able to spend time alone is so important.... Show moreI love people, but I also need loads of time alone. I really need "quiet time" just for me and it's strange how often people say "oh you must be so lonely". There is such a difference between those too. I think being able to spend time alone is so important.

Over the years I have been given loads of advice too, but something that I have remembered over and over again was when I was complaining about just wanting my baby to be born, I was 38 weeks pregnant, I couldn't sleep, I had to pee every 5 minutes, I was so ready for the baby to be born. A neighbour listened to all my complaints and then said "but you have a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy which is such a blessing" and I instantly thought, wow she is so right, how many women struggle to fall pregnant, how many miscarry... and she followed this by adding"you know, where your baby is right now is the best and most safe she will ever be, it will also be the least amount of work you will ever do, the older they get, the more you will worry, the bigger their problems become and as much as you will want to, you won't be able to solve all their problems".

I have thought about that conversation so many times over the years. Now with a child in university, I often think of that neighbour and how she knew exactly what she was talking about.

enigma

A lot of interesting life lessons, which you mention here.... Show moreA lot of interesting life lessons, which you mention here.
When I entered teacher training, my math teacher said: “What are you actually doing here? ?“After all, I came from a language course where math was very minimal. But it was precisely his words, that I would not make it, that motivated me to prove that I could do it. I just hadn't chosen that profession in recent years, which didn't mean I couldn't do it.

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Hans

6. “I don't think you're ready” I started working at 14, at a time when it was important to develop other skills in addition to work. wrapping. For half a day, I was allowed to go to Life School, music education, sports, manual labor, etc. One afternoon, the ... Show more6. “I don't think you're ready” I started working at 14, at a time when it was important to develop other skills in addition to work. wrapping. For half a day, I was allowed to go to Life School, music education, sports, manual labor, etc. One afternoon, the school's principal said to us, “Whoever is born on a dime will never be a quarter.”. Now, 70 years later, I may not have turned a quarter, but 20 cents did.

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Henkjan de Krijger

Henkjan de Krijger

So very negative advice can be quite eye openers.

I once complained about my parents and a friend said : Then you break up with them ? This gave me the insight in 1 second that I would never want that.

Niyorlis

We must accept our neighbor as we know him, we all have defects and virtues. Not everything is the same, the important thing is to love these people as God did them, without judging or criticizing. The One Who Criticizes Will Be Criticized.

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Gollo

Good writing seems good to me how you wrote these lessons, which reflect what people say and are things that they teach us.

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mar52

Change I need to be allowed, and make sure your qualities don't become your pitfall

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Leo 1

You explained that beautifully in a blog, Babita. But there are many wise life lessons to note when you are young. The issue is just: what do you do with it yourself.

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Kinderworkshops Petra

Kinderworkshops Petra

I think number 3 is quite intense, I must say. It doesn't matter how you dress. They have to stay away from you.

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fanny

Don't trust me so much, because these are also words that have helped me because one out of trust a lot of things have happened to me, for that reason they are things that have made me think differently.

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Hans

Hans... Show moreHans
Hans53 minutes ago
6. “I don't think you're ready” I started working at 14, at a time when it was important to develop other skills in addition to work. wrapping. For half a day, I was allowed to go to Life School, music education, sports, manual labor, etc. One afternoon, the school's principal said to us, “Whoever is born on a dime will never be a quarter.”. Now, 60 years later, I may not have become a quarter, but 20 cents did.

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Hans

@Hans Louis Davids - If you were born on a dime. https://youtu.be/Z9dLCg1cDjU

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Hans

+100 YP

Impressive

Rudy Siedlecki 🌳

Rudy Siedlecki 🌳

Everyone will get to know themselves better by interacting with others, I suspect. As children, we are all influenced by what others think and say; that's called adulthood.

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Dewaputra

Some of the points you mention are certainly also recognisable to me. Fortunately, she was also able to cope well with them. Did we still end up well 😇

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Madeleine

+100 YP

Informative