Adieu

It's been over 14 years since I had to say goodbye to my father. For me this was a huge loss, which I have been with for a long time. Now that I've been 14 years later, I still think of him, only I'm really glad he has suffered agony. How I experienced all this and look back on it now, you can read in this blog post.

4 JANUARY 2006

This day I will not forget soon, the year had just begun. So was this Wednesday morning when I just started with a cup of coffee. Waking up for a while, with a repetition of As The World Turns. Until I got the call from Audry (my best friend), who had to tell me that my father died. At that moment, my whole world really collapsed, even though I knew this moment was coming. The fact that I was 25 years old then, but my father had already reached an age of 84 years. That's an age you have to take into account that you got this message once. Only between knowing something that it can happen or realizing something, those are two completely different things.

Still, I had a strange feeling for a few days, I just couldn't place it yet. Until I got that one phone call with the news that my father had died. The way she found my father because he had visible bruises. They also did a forensics check on him because there were doubts as to whether he had died of a natural cause of death. A few hours later, I got a call with the results of the forensics. Fortunately, this showed that my father had died of a natural cause of death on 2 January 2006 at 02:15 p.m. Maybe a little weird to say that, but I didn't have to think that because of other people, he had to endure suffering during the last few hours of his life.

Of course I was already on my way from Emmen to holly. Only by now I had also learned that I had to be present before my father was picked up by an undertaker. Since Audry was also my father's neighbor across the street, I decided to go see her first. In half an hour it doesn't arrive anymore and so I could put everything in peace, so my father was taken to a mourning centre. Although that wasn't as simple as I thought it was. This is because my father was still upstairs in his bedroom at that time, but they didn't get it that easy with the fire card down. At that moment I was waiting outside, so I didn't get this very consciously. Because it said it wasn't a pretty face to see your father like that, so I chose not to.

THE DAYS BETWEEN HIS DEATH AND HIS FUNERAL

From that moment on, you actually live on autopilot and in a buzze at the same time. This is how I experienced it afterwards when I think back. You have to arrange a funeral, but you're also full of grief at that moment. Luckily I had really nice people around me, so my aunt (my father's sister) helped send the invitations, Audry and her parents helped me with so many things, that it's really too much to mention. I will never forget my father's neighbors, because they were at the door at 18:00 with a cup of dinner. I was really amazed that someone thought about it, but so sweet of them at the same time. I even remember what it was; potatoes, cauliflower with a meatball. However, I found very strange that my father's GP had been to me for house visit has been. Which I really appreciated that he did this.