Deepest Secret of an Introvert
When I was a child, I stay on the corner every time I feel bad. I noticed there were only few people who loves me — perhaps there were two — my lolo and tatay. My other family members? I don't know. I doubt their love for me even my parents' love. When my other siblings have done the mistake, I don't know, but I always got the blame. It was I who got scolded and hit by a stick. When they scold me, I cried a lot. I can still recall when I learned how to make a voiceless cry. There were numerous of times I wished and asked God to get me killed. The day I got the idea of the voiceless cry, I went to the corner crying. I pursed my lips ang I am devoured by silence with my tears falling from my eyes through my cheeks. Since that day, I never tried to open up my frustrations. No, I did once. But, I only got nothing. It was when I realized, some people just dont care. Then, I started to distance myself from people. I share my stories which people won't find OA. I'm done with mockery and being treated as if I'm nothing.
In JHS, I became more distant. I have build walls around me. There were only few who could see through me. Nonetheless, they still knew a little about my story. Yes, I lost my trust a long time ago. When I feel bad, I keep it myself. When I feel sad, I keep it myself. I keep everything I feel. I showed them I am fearless but no, I'm not. I'm hiding in a shell. The surface looks unbreakable but the thing inside is too fragile. Since then, they were scared on me. No person ever once tried to throw insults nor jokes at me.
