Child mode and first schedule “rejection.”

I looked around the gas station store. My eyes wandered. A few men had a conversation about coffee and I was distracted for a bit. The Psychology Magazine with topic “Schedule Therapy” caught my attention. I was browsing and reading the article by Psychologist Hannie van Genderen. All of a sudden I remembered what to do. I quickly snatched a pack of stuffed cakes and a bottle of Icetea and took off.
My heart beat faster. How long had I been away? Not long anyway.? I looked at my watch and saw that ten minutes had passed. Once again I looked around. I walked into the car park and scoured for a car. I didn't see what I wanted to find. I walked around the gas station. I thought maybe I overlooked something. I walked into the store one more time but my parents and my boyfriend weren't there either. Completely defeated, I sat on a pole in the parking lot to wait. All kinds of thoughts went through my head.
An hour later I saw the car I was trying to find. The car ripped into the property. My parents and my boyfriend were in the car. I heard a lot of excuses from mostly my mom and dad.
But I didn't hear what my mom and dad said and all I had to think about was
“How did they forget all three of me?’
“Am I not important enough?’
'Do they really love me?’
Yesterday in the conversation with my therapist, I found out that my first schedule is' rejection ', and that all my behavior has to do with this. My perfectionism and my people please behaviour at the expense of myself, for example. If someone doesn't respond to my mail. If anyone forgets me. If I feel like I'm not seen, I feel like that little girl back then. That little girl who desperately wanted to be acknowledged for who she was. The little girl who did everything for a sincere hug and a good conversation that really listened to her.
Inderdaad kunnen woorden en gebeurtenissen in de vroeg jeugd een enorme impact op de rest van het leven hebben. Hoe onbedoeld het ook kan zijn... Dat herken ik wel, al is het een andere situatie.
mooi als je gaat kiezen voor ejzelf en je vertrouwen met ejzelf gaat opbouwen, waardevol
Mooi en heel bijzonder, als je van jezelf gaat houden en dit leert koesteren
Punt 3 omschrijft weliswaar hoe ik mijn kinderjaren heb beleefd, maar mooie herinneringen koesteren en glimlachen om de vele blije kinderfoto's is niet hetzelfde als weer in die 'modus' vertoeven. Ik was toen gelukkig en ben dat nu ook, maar wel op een verschillende manier. Als ik kijk naar de foto's van bvb mijn verjaardagsfeestjes, herinner ik mij het geluksgevoel, maar ik voel geen behoefte om weer 6 of 8 te worden.
Vooral de omschrijvingen bij thema's 1b, 1d, 1e, 1f, 2a en 2d zijn zo ontzettend herkenbaar dat ik er gewoon van schrik