raxitb7

· 22 Apr 2020

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Prisoner of My Emotions

#Emotions #Truth #Love #Relationships

"Love" is something which hasn't been a great pal to me for a long period of time. Or maybe, my luck never gave me a chance to feel love. In any case, the result was an eminent brokenness, destruction and years of self loathing behaviour which was hated by mother, peers and as well as teachers.

My mother often saw me laying lifeless like a dead-body on my bed when she used to wake in the middle of night for a glass of water.

One time she said "Son, Your life just started and someday you'll achieve everything you wanted". Truth to be told, I was aware that she was trying to comfort me and easing my pain through her pillow intervention. However, I didn't quite understand her at that moment and went on to question God and the reason he blessed me a life on our complex yet wretched planet called Earth. Furthermore, went on to imagining some creative ways to die and self-loathing my life.

In my sophomore year, I made an acquaintance of a young woman known as "rose cheecks" whom I met in our college cafeteria through a classmate of mine. She was a skinny, fair and smart as a modern-day smartphone. Going about my daily routines of attending lectures and bunking cIasses to smoke pot with my friends. I often came across her in the college with carrying her little purse and smile like an angel of heaven.

She strucked me like a lightening bolt every single damn time I saw her.

However, with the burden of acceptance and integrity of my emotions took a huge toll on me and drawn me into a hole of darkness and made me feel a prisoner of my emotions & experiences