Graduation is Difficult...

It's the end of the school year again, the moment the senior students graduate. And I, too, have been trying to pass my exam assignment for quite some time. I also put a lot on about this project called “Nutshell”. But that's not all that comes with this. In it I show the process and the things I make for it, but not the stress and other emotions that come with it... And that's what I want to talk to you about right now.

This is something I prefer not to talk about, but it is definitely something I should mention because sometimes I get the idea that a study is underestimated. Children/Students can sometimes get under a lot of stress and if this is not handled properly then this can have bad consequences. For example, I know a lot of people who have had a burnout that they have had to quit their education or that there is just so much stress because the deadlines are not attainable. But I'm not going to talk about the other students right now, but about myself...

How I was thrown out of school.

I am attending a two-year education, an associate degree in Design and Digital Media at the HKU in Utrecht. Now I have already trained in the media myself, but this was quite different. The teachers, supervisors and students not only look at what you can do... Because I can do and make a lot, so I always knew myself as a creative maker. So I can make video, animation, games and much more! Only I thought that I could and should do everything myself, in the end I was dropped out of school after my first year. This was because I was a bit all-knowing and arrogant, because of this I could not communicate well with other people because I saw myself above other people.



Uncertainty, something I'm sure we've all had to deal with. Uncertain about the future, yourself, love, or success in your life. I can honestly admit that I have been uncertain about all this. I often had the uncertainty about this training and whether I could still succeed here. This would have been a real eye opener for me. That is why I have done everything I can to be able to follow this study again. And after a lot of effort, conversations, second chances and new appointments I succeeded.



I was able to return to the training with a month behind which I had to keep up with the current lessons and also to catch up with everything that was before. I also started asking for the help of a tutor to get everything on the same page. And so I've been walking with that uncertainty for a long time. During this time I also had some breakdowns and burst into tears. Because after a summer holiday of full work to come back, I finally got back to training and had to do twice as much work!



And it was at this time, only in such a time of need that I started to realize how much help you can be and how happy I have to be if someone wants to help me. Not because I need it and they need to be ready for it, but because they want it and give me that help. With this new way of thinking there is also a “new Marc” emerged the “Marc 2” so to speak. I left the all-knowing and arrogant thing behind and exchanged it for more concern and interest. For my work, learning new things but also for the people around me.

Come back...

And now already a few months later I am completely up to date. I don't have to catch up or try again! But what I still have to do is make a final exam project and a lot of other assignments around it. I can honestly say that a study has never been so difficult for me, but what I can say despite everything that has happened to me in this course, that I can proudly say that it has changed me the way I hoped. At the beginning of this training I hoped to be able to deal with more media techniques, to think out of the box and to work better with people. This way I am always grateful for the opportunity and the second chance I have received and therefore I want to be able to pay back for the training.

After this training I plan to develop this game even further where I can. And to start up an official media company where I can apply other techniques in my projects besides film. And I still hope that my future projects will help humanity form a more intimate relationship with each other.

My name is Marc van der Laan and I'm no longer insecure.