'Op het randje...'

'Op het randje...'

Ik keek naar de klok. Het was exact acht uur en precies op dat moment hoorde ik het belsignaal van mijn telefoon. Ik nam op. Niet om degene die belde te woord te staan maar om van het irritante geluid af te zijn. Vrijwel direct drukte ik 'm ook weer uit. Om acht uur wil ik het nieuws zien! Wie belt er nou om acht uur, idioot!

Astrid Kersseboom was intussen de hoofdlijnen van het journaal aan het voorlezen, toen de telefoon opnieuw ging. Driftig pakte ik de telefoon weer en keek op het scherm wie het was. Shit!! Die Miep van reclassering. Ja, letterlijk hoor! Toch maar even opnemen dan... 'Ja!' '......Met Miepke Dennehout...' 'Ja, met Jan Eikeblad' 'Mijnheer, kunt u even serieus zijn, u heeft een serieus probleem'. 'Oja? Vertel is moppie'... 'En wilt u me op een normale manier te woord staan?!' 'Ja schat'... '..........Heeft u uw enkelband af gedaan?' 'Ja! Ik heb me poot d'r afgezage en nou is tie d'r af..., ja as jij dom ken lulle, ken ik 't ook!' 'Bent u dan toevallig vandaag buiten uw zone geweest? We konden u eerder vandaag ook telefonisch al niet bereiken en dat hebben we meerdere malen geprobeerd!' 'We leve hier toch niet in Noord-Korea, of wel? Weet u wel hoe vaak ik met me scooter op en neer moet om boodschappies te kenne hale?! D'r gaat ech nie veel in in zo'n ding hoor!' 'Mijnheer, nu zijn wij het signaal van uw enkelband kwijt! Wij hebben niet na kunnen gaan waar u vandaag allemaal geweest bent. Nogmaals, u heeft echt een serieus probleem hoor!' 'Mens da zeg ik toch net! Ik ben een paar keer bij Appie geweest!' 'Wat doe jij as je mot frete...?' 'Wat zegt u mijnheer, dat laatste kreeg ik niet goed mee.' 'O, niks hoor!' Intussen loopt Astrid het beeld uit en het journaal is afgelopen. 'Teringwijf, weer 't nieuws gemist', dacht de man.

'Wach effe hoor, effe één de nek omdraaie'. 'Wa..Wat zegt u mememeneer?' Hahaha! Je hoef nie zo te schrikke mop, ik zet alleen de platte buiskachel uit.' 'Pardon?' 'De tellevisie!' 'O, ok. Wilt u dan morgenmiddag nog even langskomen voor een gesprek om twee uur?' 'Ja, maar hoe lang gaat da dan dure?! Ik heb meer te doen!' 'Nou hooguit een uurtje'. 'Ja die uurjes van jullie die ken ik wel! Als d'r dan maar een bakkie pleur is want da was de vorige keer ook nie!' 'Daar gaan wij voor zorgen mijnheer! Kunt u nog even naar buiten lopen? Dan kunnen wij hier kijken of we uw signaal weer op kunnen pikken'. 'O, dus u weet precies hoe da werrukt?! 'Petje af hoor!' 'Nou eigenlijk weet ik dat niet precies', bekend de vrouw. 'Nou wat zeur ie dan?! Maar ehhh, Willempie gaat weer hange hoor!' 'Doet u rustig aan? Dan zien we u morgen.' 'Ja is goed hoor, mevrouw Kerssepit, daag!' 'klik'.

© 02-04-2018 (Laatste update: 17-12-2019) Copyright; Blog, titel en tekst(en) van © The Original Enrique   Alle rechten voorbehouden/All rights reserved. Afbeelding (header) afkomstig van: Yoo.rs. Dit verhaal is volledig fictief. Een aantal namen zijn verzonnen en onverwachte gelijkenissen berusten op toeval. Tags: #schrijfuitdaging#reclassering#fictief#verhaaltje#humor#accent#enkelband#fun#funny#story

Dit verhaal schreef ik n.a.v. Schrijfuitdaging april 2018.

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A tiny tropical fish with a sense of self.
Hello! I am the blue wrasse and would love to tell you something. - #today #scienceresearch #wrassewrasse #animalblogpost A few weeks ago, divers appeared among the beautiful reef in which I live. That was not the first time and because they always left us alone before, I just continued with my 'assignment'. That is rid of fish from parasites. We help fish in all sizes Also very large. Actually, I'm not really sure what these fish think about us. Perhaps they think that we are very social and therefore necessarily want to rid them of their inconveniences. But hi hi, we just love parasites. That is our food source . The fish who want to make a clean make it known with the movements they make, or sounds they make. Some whip their tails. Others are constantly opening their mouth. They never eat us because they are all too happy when they get rid of those parasites . So in four weeks, I was diligently brushing, so collecting my favorite fare, when I suddenly ended up in a big green mesh net . A diver was the cause of that. I was almost shocked by a bump. The creature brought me to the surface. Really a really nasty experience But again, she released me from the net into a reservoir. A little after that, we sat in a medium-sized aquarium with a small swarm . Which was confirmed on one side something in which I could see myself. At first I thought this was another cleaning fish that was challenging le wat . Because it seemed to tap my face every time. But, after a skirmish, I suddenly realized it was me. Yes waded! What an experience. I thought I did look nice. So beautiful blue, small and slim. So I did some dances for my own reflection. Whew it was quite a relief that I wasn't confronted with an aggressive fish of my own kind. Then suddenly I saw a brown spot on my skin. I knew that a diver had inflicted it on my skin. That dot looked completely like a parasite. But unfortunately it wasn't . I had to look at my bodice of hgel against a stone lying in the bin. But again, I am completely pure again. The next day she put me and the other fish in a different tank, certainly. Now the mirror was not the entire width of the widest window. But right to the much narrower. And the creature that caught me did put another dot on my body. The Netherners. It made me feel terribly small and impotent. I had never felt that kind of powerless feeling in the reef between the corals and the very big fish. Well if everyone accepts you as a fish and does you no harm, you won't think about that either. This time, of course, I knew better immediately. So I only admired a little more in that narrower mirror. Anything else you couldn't do in the aquarium and scrub off the stain they had inflicted on me . In the meantime, I was getting hungry and an awful lot of homesickness. Which caused me to crave my own hiding spot for the night and, of course, my friends, the fish in need of care. The next day we were put into another thing. This time with the mirror to the left and the same again: a dot on my body. Yes, say. That's when I really had my coming from it. But also this time, out of boredom, I did some dances in the mirror. But I really felt a bit weakened without my daily portion of fresh parasites . We did get food. But fed up that was importantnot fresh and far from tasty. And then whoopee! they transferred us into a cockpit, the whole group all of a sudden, and let go back. All right, this was in our familiar spot . Because I was afraid they would just tip us out of here I was euphorically happy when I found my hideout intact for the night. Those divers are weird snouts, huh? I've already thought silly. But, so far, still can't figure out why they did such a thing to us. It must have something to do with those mirrors. But what? But yes I have actually been happy for a long time now that I can fill my belly again and that I have my friends, the fish in need of care, back in my vicinity. Conclusion of the researchers. The blue wrasse appears to have a self-awareness. We didn't expect this at all with a fish So there will be more fish that have that. The wrasse does have a good eyesight . This must have it in order to see the tiny parasites clearly High cognitive behavior, such as recognizing yourself in the mirror, is not limited to humans, great apes, chimpanzees, dolphins, magpies and elephants Since we have repeated this sample a few times, we now know that smaller fish with a self-awareness also exist . So not all fish belong to a group of lower cognitive abilities