Shyness is not a choice, and certainly not a defect, it is a completely normal trait.


Summary: In a world that's increasingly about visibility and self-promotion, it's not useful to be silent. That is why we all do our best to suppress, conceal and polish any form of shyness. Meanwhile, shy people are being beaten around the ears with well-intentioned advice: “Show yourself a little more!'Manouk van Egmond has been shy for as long as she can remember and believes that this is not an anomaly or illness, but an ordinary trait. In this book, where many scientists, philosophers and experts speak, she tells you about the role of shyness in her life and society. The fact that shyness is seen as a 'label' rather than a completely normal trait makes perfect sense considering how negatively people think about this character trait in modern Western society. Even birds are shy

Being shy clashes with the values of our individualistic, neoliberal society. Self-expression has become very important, something that started with the emancipation movements in the 1960s and 1970s, Peter Achterberg, professor of sociology. Neoliberal policies also encourage people to take good care of themselves, for example in education or healthcare But we expect patients to be empowered, able to stand up for themselves, make their own choices, etc.” And that's not to mention our professional life, where visibility is an important strategy for moving up, and assertiveness is rewarded more than thoughtfulness.

We think shy people should try to get rid of their shyness because it's better for them. There is a lot wrong with that conviction. About 50 percent of our character traits are genetically determined, which means that we can't “just change our psychology and morphology to become bold or shy,” says Kees van Oers. He is an extraordinary professor of Animal Personality at Wageningen University & Research, and said that shyness occurs in all animal species.

Shyness is a normally distributed trait, he also said. This means that half is more shy, and the other half is more brutal or spontaneous. That's for a good reason. For example, if a group of fish consists only of brutal specimens, they have a big problem if everyone goes out to find food and then they all swim in a fishing net.

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