Explaining My depression to my Mom ..


Mom One day I am up high in the sky ...
the next day , I am crushed to the ground...
Mom thinks my depression is a game I control And I play dead till the next day come...
But when depression visit me ,I am already dead and Dark days hold me...
MOM says : try lighting candles but Mom when I do so I see the flashes of my memories that keep on haunting me..
Then , I close my eyes and I realise that everyone I come to know will leave someday ..
Mom says : then try counting sheeps but MOM all I can do is counting reasons why I should be dead ...
I can't MOM , I can't ...
Then , MOM says : why don't you stop crying and go out to see some friends...
Mom , I lose intention to even step out from my bed Mom , depression is holding me back from everything and taking my desire to survive.. depression is more than that, it'll haunt you for the rest of your life.
Mom says : the problem is you , not trying to get out of your bed...
I can't Mom , anxiety hold me a hostage My heart beats keep on getting higher and I sleep in my sweats...
Mom, even if I stepped out of my bed, I keep on overeating then feeling anxious again. then angry ..
Mom , I am unable to sruvive... Mom says : where did anxiety come from ?
Mom , anxiety is the cousin of depression that he felt obliged to invite to the party...
Mom , I am the party , I am the party that I don't want to be at ...
Mom says : Be happy , happy is a decision But Mom , My happy is lost in my darkest days ...
Mom says you're so good at making something out of nothing and she asks me if I am afraid of dying...
Mom I am afraid of living ,,
MOM. I am lonely MOM and I keep on trying to get busy but that's helpless Mom...
And whenever I tell someone that I am super busy , I meant I am dying in struggles to not confront the empty sides of my room and to stop depression from dragging me back to my bed..
will you ever understand ?
Mom still don't get it neither do I...
#depression #mom #talk #poem