Biruk Baye

@birukbaye · 10 Dec 2021

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Healthy vs Unhealthy boundaries

A healthy boundary is a limit that you establish for someone else, which allows them to take responsibility for their choices. An unhealthy boundary is when you are victimizing yourself by trying to control too much of another person's life. Healthy boundaries are good because they allow people to live their lives the way they want without being limited by how other people want them to live.

Unhealthy boundaries are bad because they can lead your loved ones down the path of having no willpower in any aspect of their own life. If a parent has an unhealthy boundary and tries to control their child's behavior, then the child can start to feel that it is OK for others to control them.

Unhealthy boundaries can be very harmful in relationships between partners, if one person makes all of the decisions for the other person, then that person will most likely have no self-respect or respect for others. On the other hand, healthy boundaries allow you to feel valued and respected by your loved ones.

Healthy boundaries are important because they allow you to give yourself what you need without having to sacrifice your values. Healthy boundaries can help you create healthy relationships with others that don't have any negative effects on your well-being.

What are some examples of healthy vs unhealthy boundaries?

A man goes to a party and gets incredibly drunk. Unable to stand, he calls his wife and asks her to come to pick him up. She refuses because she has just gotten home from work and is exhausted, so she tells him to call a cab.

She is setting appropriate boundaries because she is not going out of her way to accommodate her husband's poor decision-making while also showing affection by supporting his health by encouraging him to take a cab instead of driving drunk.

A woman who is dating a man with borderline personality disorder (BPD) is repeatedly abused and bullied on social media by him. She finally breaks up with him and then posts about how he was abusive to her on Facebook.

This is an unhealthy boundary because she chose to believe the lies he wrote about her, rather than believing that he didn't write them since she still loved him. She was also too weak to stand up for herself in the relationship.

An adult woman who is a recovering alcoholic tells her kids that if they don't potty train themselves by the time they are seven, that they will not get any Christmas presents in the future.

This is an unhealthy boundary because she is trying to control her children's behavior, rather than creating an incentive for them to do what they want in the future.

If a parent has an unhealthy boundary, it could lead their kids down the path of having no willpower in any aspect of their life. Unhealthy boundaries can be very harmful in relationships between partners, if one person makes all the decisions for the other person, that person will most likely have no self-respect or respect for others. On the other hand, healthy boundaries allow you to feel valued and respected by your loved ones.

A healthy boundary between parents and kids allows your parents to set limits for you but still allows you as a kid to make your own choices. It avoids the risk of your parents controlling you, which can lead you to feel like they don't respect you.

A man who is a single parent and considers himself a good person sets an unhealthy boundary by believing that his kids should be able to tell him when they have had enough to drink. If a father wants their kids to stop drinking the day before Halloween, the mother makes them promise not to drink for the rest of the weekend so that they will have time to get ready for trick-or-treating before it starts.