During my taekwondo tournament years, I looked to the older competitors for an idea of what I could be. They all had such certainty, such confidence, such a sense of utter belief when they stepped onto the mat. When you’re 12 years old and just starting out in your martial arts training, you think — hoping — that these women are good enough that you can one day be as good as them. But it’s not something so simple as that. Sure, you have to believe that you can do it too. But then you actually have to do it — and this is where self-doubt sneaks in. In order for us to learn and grow in a risky yet rewarding way, we have to climb out of those self-assured feelings and get comfortable with our doubts and fears along the way — because that’s where growth happens. When I graduated from college, I was eager to join the ranks of the “real world.” But this is a pretty amorphous thing, right? Real-world. Who’s in it? Who isn’t? After spending a few months job searching and experiencing the first pangs of doubt about my viability as a human being, I started to question what “the real world” even meant. Here were some things that I came across: there are generations of young people who haven’t had much experience with these concepts; jobs evolve in ways that we can’t necessarily predict; there is an entire generation of workers who don’t learn from bosses but from their peers.

There’s an old Gary Larson cartoon where a caveman smacks his club against a planet, causing it to fall from the sky. The caption reads: “On the other hand, clubs hurt.” That’s what I think about whenever I worry that self-doubt will somehow stand between me and success. Self-doubt hurts. It’s hard to sleep with, eats away at your confidence like cancer, and is an all-around terrible company. But there are some parts of our lives—and the lives of others—where it still beats clubs.

As a missionary, I was always looking for shortcuts. There were so many rules and rituals I had to fulfill every week, and so many numbers that needed to be met, that it was easy for me to look for ways to do things quicker. This came in handy once when we had to memorize a dance. The teacher told us we could practice it, but we couldn’t watch others do it or learn it outside of the class.

If you’re anything like me, then you have doubts that sometimes hold you back. Anyone who has an active mind thinks this way. From professional athletes who have lost the pre-game jitters to world-renowned neurosurgeons who question their career choice, doubters are everywhere. But what if you used your doubts for a purpose? What if you were able to transform them into something positive?

By any measure, I’ve done OK. I publish books and teach college courses. I have a good relationship with my partner, who I love very much, and two adorable dogs I treat as children (they are undoubtedly better than actual children). There are some pieces of information — like the exact value of my assets — that make me uncomfortable to disclose, but never doubt that there is nothing objectively wrong with my life.Armed with a deep-seated desire to succeed, it’s easy to see self-doubt as your enemy. “We tend to think of self-doubt as this nasty voice that tells us we aren’t good enough,” writes Tara Sophia Mohr in her book Playing Big. “We think of it as the reason we don’t stand up for ourselves and speak our minds. We think of self-doubt as an enemy – something to be avoided at all costs.” But what if self-doubt was actually the force you needed to help you reach what you want?

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by something you’re trying to accomplish (like an essay, a project at work, or even a new hobby), the secret might be self-doubt. Yep, self-doubt: that nasty little feeling that makes you question your abilities and makes you feel uncertain that you can do it. Self-doubt can make you feel like a fraud or someone who is faking it. But what if that was actually one of your best qualities? Would knowing how to use self-doubt to your advantage change anything?

Markway and Carroll’s theories about self-doubt are interesting to consider, but how does their work relate to the musical Carrie? And what could a high school girl with telekinetic powers in a story from 1974 have to do with chronic confidence issues? The answers lie in the fine line between confidence and self-doubt.