Hunters, collectors and educators 2
In my previous post about hunters, collectors and educators, I wrote about a few interesting insights about parenting. They are from the book: Hunting, Collecting and Raising M Doucleff. In the meantime, I am a lot further in the book and I will share the following striking and interesting things from the book below.
What struck me was that the writer, who herself had problems with her temperamental little daughter, often got really angry with her child because she didn't listen, disobey etc. She could yell at the girl and the girl would yell back even harder. Such a situation that makes you bend your toes when you see it on the street or in the supermarket. Of course, the writer is anything but proud of that, she also writes that in the book. But, and now comes the interesting bit: she tells that she's actually doing exactly to her little daughter, like her mother did to her when she was little. She came from a rather explosive family, where screaming and slapping doors was almost normal.
I have also noted among the many children I have seen come to schools and courses, that often the behavior of a child falls into place when you see the parents. And probably their behavior would be easy to explain if you saw their parents again. We pass on everything, whether we want it or not. At teacher training, a teacher once said that we teach as we have taught once. If you want to change something consciously, it's really hard work. It sometimes happens so automatically, before you know it, another sentence floats out of your mouth and you hear your mother talking. Or if you're analyzing your teaching time, you suddenly see that teacher back from the past, knowing that approach might not work at all!
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It's not always easy to know how to react.
Het Golem-effect versus het Pygmalion-effect
Then I say: Watch the movie “Brammetje Baas”:)