Sometimes, sometimes my body takes over. Make it feel terrible. Make it feel awful. Sometimes it takes up completely. My feelings, my emotions. Then I don't like it. But then I think I'm a lot stronger and I'm gonna get through this. Because of all these feelings and all the emotions. That it's up to me how I get through it. As long as I go through it. Then it feels puke nauseous. I'll let you in. It is part of it. It's gonna break my old pattern. My old pattern of coldness and coldness. It lets me be human. Uncharmed and completely in misery. I hope there will be a lot of joy in the face of this. Happiness comes again. In a human way. Without that feeling of:I pretend. In an intense way. More feeling. More intensity. I need to get through this. Like I'm going through a new birth. Like I need to be born again. Literally nauseous. Literally looking at life with different eyes. Literally right through the fear. Literally right through my occasional feeling so tired in this body full of nasty emotions. Am I preparing myself for the new? For luck? For beautiful things? I hope so... #opnieuw #rouw #oudepatronendoorbreken #gelukzoeker #hoop

Loading full article...