I'ts only as awkward as you let it be, they said.


When did staying over become the equivalent of having sex? It used to be a comfort, having someone next to me. Now it’s a challenge; how long before anything will happen? Am I still going to be able to have a steady friendship with this person? It’s both terrifying and exciting at the same time.

What are the signs? Am I reading them right? Maybe I’m just looking for them because I feel alone. Or perhaps I am the one directing them. Maybe the other person feels the same.

Laying next to each other, we might be best friends. Is it still okay to hold each other or would that provoke things?

I’m mostly scared of the aftermath, of what I will feel when they leave. I don’t want them to leave.

But even if nothing happens, you’ll still be left with this feeling of uncertainty. The signs were there, weren’t they? What will they expect next time? I have been gullible before. Trusting them to not make any moves. Not because I didn’t want them to, but because I trusted them. Trusted them to handle my kindness with care and not feeling the need to repay me with intimacy.

But it’s not all about trust. It’s also about setting boundaries. To say no, to not let them go any further, to not let them touch me but it just feels so good to get touched. To feel loved. And who better to love you than your best friends. There is no tension or anything because you know them. You know their breathing and you know every touch from through their t-shirt. But you’re just left hanging above this endless pit of uncertainty. Were there any feelings before or were you just thinking this is supposed to be part of a friendship.

It’s only as awkward as you let it be, they said. But the hickey on my neck makes things harder to believe. And don’t they dare to repeat the past, to not text me after this. Don’t they dare leave me here with one less friend to call. Don’t show up to leave me for some piece of used flesh. I am not their booty call. Don’t expect me to be their easy hit, because we already know this is going to take a mental toll on us both. At least I hope it will. Don’t break my trust, I want to be able to have friends. I want to have sleepovers and not be scared to lose them.

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Sonatin Clementi
#sonatine #clementi #classicmusic #music #pianomusic #piano #onlyplan #yoorsaudio In this Yoors audio recording you hear a Sonatine by Clementi consisting of three parts. They were played by me on the piano. I love sonatins very much. And from Clementi they are also temperamentous alternating with integrity. And that attracts me very much to play it. They are also very good and challenging finger exercises for piano. I had to practice them a lot in my young years as a little girl to be able to develop well in my piano playing. I had a teacher who really took everything out of it and gave me these kinds of exercises as an assignment time and time again. I also sometimes cursed them those exercises haha, because if you hit even a note wrong, it said “Again!” And then we started all over again from the beginning. Anyway, it works. It's the only way that works for me. Discipline, cheering yourself every time, raging against myself occasionally behind the piano, because the best man hasn't lived for years. But secretly I hear him in my thoughts of “Again! “And then I always have to laugh again, because he was so driven and so am I.. He knew that. Have a lot of listening. So you'll hear three parts in this audio. Warm salute, Madeleine
Yoors Heart Shirt Design
After reading comments on my last post that I made I have received some great ideas from yoors members.I am happy to present my design. Hopefully you amazing yoors members like it and if there is something that you want on a shirt or a coffee mug just let me know and I will try and make it.The rest of the week I am making more designs and will be showing you them before we start printing them.Would love to know what you guys want and I am open for suggestions.Enjoy the Yoors Heart!Edit: I made the same logo but have a different background. I made a brush especially for this and now as you can see there are hearts in the heart.Edit:Edit: Here are some t-shirts with a few different colors as requested by some in the comments