Not to kickboxing

“No, I'm not going to kickboxing!” says Dunya firmly. Last week, she had to spar with a girl who went too fast and because of that, she was in a lot of pain and it's not over yet. She had tears in her eyes when she came home. It was fun, but also intense and it actually crossed her border, but was afraid to say anything. She doesn't want to be soft, but she's a bit used to it and can really take a beating. She has done kickboxing before and not everything is gentle when it comes to aikido either. She regularly comes home with bruises and proudly shows them off. She is afraid that the trainer is going to say it's just part of the job, but I disagree. It may hurt, but proportionally.

Make it negotiable

“Sweetie, if you don't discuss this now, it will be increasingly difficult to go. So discuss it with the trainer. In the end, I promise to go with you. We're late, class has started and I'll keep watching. This gives me a bit of an impression of the lesson and the trainer. My confidence in a happy ending grows and after class, Dunya introduces us to each other. I ask if she is doing a bit of fun and is committed and he confirms that. Then I say that she didn't really want to come because it didn't go so well last week. Dunya tells her story. “You'll have to tell her next time,” says the trainer. “She needs to know that she's crossing your border. Maybe she does it unconsciously and then she can take it into account.” Meanwhile, she takes off her boxing gloves. “My finger does hurt. I think it's broken!” says Dunya. We laugh. That is very unlikely, because she was wearing good gloves. But it does sound cool. “Cool and keep an eye on,” recommends the trainer. She doesn't like cooling, but she does keep an eye on her.