#frankrijk The knot in my stomach is getting bigger, the pressure on my chest is getting heavier and the nights are getting darker.

It is four weeks since we left as a family. Four weeks ago, we went shopping at the Lidl, fairly carefree. The children experienced it as an outing; that was because of the picnic with croissants near the car.

I experience the “not allowed to go” as heavy. You know the movie Groundhog Day? Well, to me, it feels like I'm playing the lead role.
Every day the sheep to the whey,
The donkeys to the whey,
Scoop donkey poop in the whey,
Desting stables,
Hay lovel,
To make food for the animals,
Driving poop to the dung heap,
Making breakfast for the children,
Wiping/washing dishes/cleaning up/toilet clean,
Teaching children,
Preparing dinner for the evening,
Search,
Sawing,
Washing/cleaning/wash cleaning,
Give children attention,
Small bite to eat with the children,
Cooking,
Invade Animals,
Continue to cooking,
Eating,
Cleaning up/washing dishes/house on side,
Children on bed still watch film,
To get children sleep,
Sleep sooner than the children.

In between all the tasks, I lurk in about 76 containers of coffee (the instant coffee is gone so it goes on the gas now, which I think is a disaster - what a mess you get!).

It is convenient to live at work, but in this case it is very monotonous and oppressive.

Oh God, what can I long (even more than usual) for a ride on the metro, a bike ride along the Waterweg, a round over the petting zoo and that cup of coffee with the neighbor.

Yes, yes! I know! I know! I must be grateful!
Grateful for the space around us,
Grateful that the children are doing so well,
Grateful that the children here can move so well, etc.
And I'm grateful, honestly! But that doesn't mean I find it so hard to live like this.

Although I don't have to go anywhere, the feeling that I can't leave - that presses heavily on me.
The fact that I get a big print when I go a little too far from home - it makes me panic.
The threat of an immunity passport - it makes me sick!
The developments regarding a vaccine and an imminent obligation - I can almost panic.

For 3.5 years, I've been doing my utmost to give my five home education and keep them free of vaccinations. That's been my motive all these years: I don't want to mess with my children's bodies.
(We may disagree about this; I respect your opinion, as long as you have that for my opinion.)

Anyway, I feel some showers and those showers feel dark and heavy.

I have arrived at the 58th cup of this day. I still think I'm going to get instant coffee this week - maybe that will solve something.

So, end whining!
Can you toast with coffee?
What do I care!!! CHEERS!!! #lockdown #frankrijk #corona #massahysterie #opgeblazen #overdreven #maatregels #streng #afkeer #koffie #beperkingen #kinderen #opgroeien #netoorlog #ikwildatditstopt #thuisonderwijs

Lockdown in France, despair