How I Fell In Love In Nepal?
Who wouldn't want a girlfriend right? A girlfriend who believes and supports. Or a life partner who vows to follow together till death. The unconditional love, who wouldn't want that? Everybody searches for that love and we search it in everything.
I was already 22 years old and i was dreaming the same for years. It does sound desperate but it was much of a wish for a proper love rather than foolish pleasures. I wanted that girl in my life whom i can say "this is my partner who i wanted to be with my whole life."
I had just completed my bachelor's degree and looking for job in capital city Kathmandu. Few interviews passed by but i was out of luck in every position that i have applied so far. The guilt of depending on parents for my expenses was developing more as day went by while my responsibilities as a older brother of house had increased the same.
In the midst of all changes i was bearing on through, I remember that perfect evening when a message popped up on messenger "Are you fine? What are you doing?"from a school friend whom I haven't talked for ages. The problem being socially inactive person is that any contact will be lost from friends within few months of departure. I replied the message and our talk went for about an hour on how life changes and all school memories.
"Why do you hesitate to open up a conversation first? You never say hello to me." She said.
"Its just that i dont like social medias."
"You never post anything. Post something here and then. Let your friends know what are you doing. You don't have to be secretive like a terrorist."
"I will try dixshya."
"I know you won't. I have told you few many times. Anyways, use some emojis man, its boring to talk to you otherwise."
...
Its true i never used to write emojis in text and something changed that day, i started using it on her advice. The chat had stopped popping but i wished she talked more. A long talk after such years refreshed the memories like a cola. Few days went by and the message box were silent and i hesitated to message her first.
"To hell what she will think" i murmured in my heart and typed a message after a day but soon erased. The send button is less than a centimeter away but the strength that takes to move the finger to press is immense.
"Why am i like this? Why can't i be a free bird? Why i have to overthink on every step i move?" A array of self-deprecating questions caught like a wildfire within me. These questions handicapped me with no ability to message.
Few weeks went by and time worked its magic. I forgot about her and focused on my new job which was boring as hell but it was my first step to self independence. The news of new virus starting in china circulated all over media and the soon county after country shut down with the name 'Lockdown'. It had just been a month at my job and the news that Kathmandu will be locked down in two days came official from the government. Millions of people started to flock out of city to their own homes and own villages.
In midst of crowd,there was a boy waiting with a small bag at back and big luggage case at his one hand waiting for bus to his hometown. Out of any context, i wished that she will be be on same bus as i was about to climb. But alas, she wasn't in Kathmandu but few houses down from my actual home.
The ten hour long ride went by on wish if she were here at my side seat rather than a snoring old man.
"Why should i care about her? She is not even my type. I am just fussing over simple matters. Man up! Aman. Man up." I tried to free my mind but the thoughts of her never came to stop but my ride did. I got off the bus and walked towards my home and i saw her. Just a glimpse of her from window and i rode on towards my home about 10 houses down the road.
The days became monotonous at home being on fear of virus and on lockdown. A day felt like endless circle where you are forced to form up a routine with only option "sleep or eat". But how one message can change all the thing? I haven't felt that untill I messaged her one afternoon and our talks grew.
It was not much of a progress for a boy whose friends where changing girls like seasons but the messages were special when we talked for hours. Few flirty messages went on and chats grew. I could not say i like her but i thought she understood me like nobody else. She knew all about me and i was just learning about her.
One afternoon, she messaged me detailing a plan for all friend to have a meetup. I was so excited to meet her.
I put on good clothes that i could find on my shitty wardrobe. I waited outside her house and she came down the stairs on muddy brown top and blue jeans. The red lipstick caught my eyes and made it immobile, i wanna say her how beautiful she was but i could not.
We went conversing along the empty streets and into grassy plain lands untill we met our friends. Friends talked all evening about their life but i didn't even listen most of time.
My mind was focused on the girl sitting right opposite to me. I watched her lips moving as she talked. I noticed how her hands kept caressing her hair. I noticed every simple thing she did.
"You look beautiful." I said when we were alone returning towards home. It took hour of mumble inside my heart before i blurted it out.
"Thanks. I knew it from you stare all day." She said. "Anyways it took you 3 hours to say it. Quite a low progress right."
My mouth dried up and i couldnot reply.
She should have noticed it and she pushed me more
" Should i say you to hold my hands or will you move robot man?"
I clutched her hand like a robot who got his orders and she laughed. But she never let go my hands but interlocked with her fingers. Her small hands vanished into my hands but the emotions came rushing as if a link has been created between us. We walked holding hands on dark streets in silence falling in love. I was not sure about her but this robot man had already fallen down.
"You are so shy,man. I was expecting a kiss by the way." She said as we departed. And i stood there dumbstruck again on regrets till she climbed back those stairs and disappeared into her home.
I wonder how a moment creates another moments and it grows exponentially. I have found our love growing the same. Our talk never seems to finish. A day was never enough and neither a month was and i think nor thousand years will be enough.
(And for your information, The shy boy kissed the girl weeks later. The story of first kiss is for another time. The one who buys this one story wouldn't have to buy any other part of this story.)
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