Parents to be (1)


Hoe het begon.

Ja! Er zijn al veel blogs over moeder worden en moeder zijn, maar iedereen ervaart het op zijn eigen manier.

Twee jaar geleden begonnen mijn man en ik een kinderwens te uiten, mijn man dacht dat het allemaal zeer rap zou gaan, want de mensen rondom ons, kregen kinderen alsof het niets was. Omdat er geen fertiliteitsproblemen gekend waren in onze families, dacht ik ook, dit zal wel snel goed komen. Maar na een jaar en half, werd ons verteld, na een aantal testen, dat het bij ons niet zo makkelijk zou verlopen en we een afspraak moesten maken bij een fertiliteitsziekenhuis. Mensen rond ons, vertelden ons hoe we het gewoon moesten loslaten, er niet over moesten denken. Maar dat deden we niet, nooit gedaan, we besloten dat ik zou stoppen met de pil en dan zouden zien wanneer het kwam, geen ovulatie testen of andere rare truckjes, gewoon de natuur zijn gang laten gaan.

Ik nam een afspraak in februari, maar zegde die af. Iets in mijn leefde in tweestrijd. Ik was het meisje die steeds zei 'als je geen kind krijgt, is de tijd niet rijp of hoort het zo te zijn'. Familie en vrienden die erover wisten, probeerden mij te overtuigen, hoe naief mijn denken was. Maar iets in mij moest dit alles eerst aanvaarden. Ik liet het ziekenhuis even voor wat het was en wilde me eerst focussen op het accepteren en beseffen wat misschien zou komen.

Een paar weken terug, vroeg een vriendin me, waarom ik ondertussen niet opnieuw een afspraak nam. Ik vertelde haar, dat ik gewoon wil aanvaarden dat de tijd niet rijp is voor kinderen in mijn leven en dat ik rust zal nemen als ze nooit komen, ze weet hoe spiritueel ik ben, maar vond het nu wel wat 'ver gezocht'. In onze huidige maatschappij is IVF, IUI, e.d. geen taboe meer, er zijn nu eenmaal tegenwoordig meer medische problemen, we kunnen geholpen worden en dat mag ook. Had ze gelijk? Ik besloot opnieuw het formulier in te vullen en bedacht me, de eerste afspraak is enkel een kennismaking, erna kunnen we nog beslissen wat we doen.

AANVAARDING! Misschien het beste wat me ooit is overkomen, en geloof me aanvaarding is iets heel anders dan loslaten. Ik ben best koppig, dat weet ik.

De periode van mijn maandstonden moest aanbreken, de gewoonlijke kwaaltjes waren aanwezig, maar toch bleven ze uit. 1 dag, 2 dagen, 3 dagen,... omdat het niet de eerste keer zou zijn, dat mijn lichaam me parten speelde besloot ik toch een zwangerschapstest te doen. Als mijn hoofd beseft dat het negatief is, volgt mijn lichaam weer.

Terwijl ik op de testuitslag wachtte poets ik mijn tanden en je snapt vast wat gaat komen. Toen ik de test positie zag worden, kon ik amper nog verder mijn tanden poetsen, ik stond versteld. Gelijk belde ik naar mijn beste vriendin, die mijn oren eraf heeft geroepen van blijdschap. Ik geloofde het niet... Op naar de dokter.

Mijn huisarts weet uiteraard over het verhaal, dus wilde hij mij niet teveel hoop geven. 'we kijken het na, stuur me straks maar een berichtje voor de resultaten'. Omdat ik zo nerveus was, besloot ik langs te gaan bij mijn beste vriendin om de tijd te doden. Om 15u30 stuurde de arts zelf, dat ik inderdaad zwanger was. Ik kon het nog steeds amper geloven.

Mijn man was in wolken,... wat zou er nu gaan komen...

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My friend is a woman
My friend is a woman - How I, as a straight woman, try to deal with my friend's transition from man to woman.“I want to be a woman.” - These words are still engraved in my memory as if he uttered them yesterday. In reality, he told me them at the end of last year, somewhere early October 2019. I fell from the sky. Of course I already knew that my friend was not a cliché machoman, and let that be exactly what attracts me so much about him. He is also autistic, because of which he can not always name his feelings and emotions, this is called “alexithymia.” We've been together for almost four and a half years now, and in the meantime, you know a thing or two about each other. For example, he told me that he used to wear dresses of his sisters for fun.Not a big deal, you might think. My mother had shortened and taken one of my father's overalls so I could walk through the mud with overalls and rubber boots and play farmer. However, what my friend never told me is how he felt when wearing those dresses, because he could never explain his emotions. Now this is still difficult for him, but with the help of a psychologist and sexologist, he slowly but surely comes out. He felt “right “when he wore those dresses, like he had to wear those dresses, and he always would. But he was born a man and his parents always raised him like that. My friend has a mustache, a beard, broad shoulders and a heavy voice. Nothing about him has ever made me - or anyone around me - suspect he's transgender.First appointment with the sexologist. - On October 14, he had his first appointment with a sexologist attached to a hospital in our region. That was a very difficult day for me, because my head told me he'd come back from the hospital as a woman. No, no, no. His sexologist helps him to (re) discover his orientation, his gender and who he wants to be. The appointments were supposed to come monthly. My friend has a counselor who helps him because he's autistic, and she's been with him once to the sexologist. I haven't dared to do it so far. After his penultimate appointment with the sexologist, he comes home and says, “I can start hormone therapy, it's really going to happen!” I can tell you that I felt terrified that day, and I had one panic attack after another and systematically hid it all from my friend. To this day, I still have panic attacks, although thanks to my new antidepressants, these are a lot less frequent.To the endocrinologist. - At some point, my friend's autism supervisor is sitting with us, and she says to him, “Oh yes, I have mapped out our train and bus routes to get to Mortsel”. I fell all the way from the sky. When I asked why they went to Mortsel and when, the counselor looked at me amazed. She thought I knew they were going to Mortsel together. No, no. Apparently, there's an endocrinologist. I had NEVER heard the word in my life, but apparently this is also called a 'hormone doctor', who is very concerned with diabetic patients, but also with people with hormone problems or, in this case, transgender. My throat was kind of pinched. Hormones already? A thousand and one questions popped my head in, and most of them are still there.The first hormone pill. - Yesterday it was then time: he was allowed to pick up the prescription for his hormones from the GP. He then did this and he immediately went to get the medication from the pharmacist. Yesterday he also immediately took his first two doses. I am terrified. Realistically, I know that no changes will be noticeable for the time being, but they will actually be there. For him, of course, it was great. He loves this whole process, he will finally become who he wants to be and he hopes to finally be truly happy. And I'll give him that. How hard I give him that.- Oh, my... But what about me? - I am straight. Of course, I can greatly appreciate the beauty of some women (who not?) , but I'm not attracted to women. My friend keeps telling me that he will not change much, but how can the transformation from man to woman be called “not much” now? What's going on with our relationship? I love my friend, but I really love it, and now I feel like I'm grieving. Because soon “my friend “will be gone. Then there's a woman in its place. He's not out of the closet with my parents, who are actually his parents, since his real parents have never been parents to him (are you still following?) , and plans to do this through a letter, because that way he can get out of his words more easily, and he can't tell them face-to-face, afraid of their reactions. He already wrote that letter, and I already read it. When he plans to send these to my parents, I don't know. But I'm also afraid of my parents' reaction. I'm afraid of everything right now. - This is the beginning of what is likely to become a long series. With this I give you a broader insight into my life at Yoo.rs, which is currently completely upside down. #transgender #holebi #hetero #lgbtq #persoonlijk
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Pimp your own DIY clock
Are you a little up to the time? Or you always clock in too late? Sometimes you might hang something on the big clock, and another time you think like the clock ticks at home, it doesn't tick anywhere, Typical and familiar proverbs that probably tell you what it's about today... clocks! Clocks are nice to eg. hang in your room. But of course it can also be fun at school, in the daycare, the BSO etc.. This clock can pimp you. And you can do that in the way you like! We mochten de clocks uittesten van Header Toys . This is a toy wholesaler for education, catering and private individuals. That oppimping the clock I did with the materials I have in my house! Plastered with decopatch paper and paint, and decorated with blingbling. These are just a few more options. You can also edit it with markers and edit the clock with various patterns. But foam clay/ sticky clay is also a nice material to the edge of the clock eg. co-coat. You can also apply nice decorations with dot pens or 3D liner. And decorate with foam stickers or glitters.. it can all! You can also take a picture of yourself, your grandmother, your pet as background of the clock. Also very nice! In short, you live out and have fun with this clock. And if you still learn to watch clock then you have a nice motivation to. So also a nice gift for a child who is still busy practicing with this. Read how it was made? What do you need? - Wooden clock package - Pencil/ scissors - Black permanent marker (collall) - Paint (creall) - Decopatch paper/glue/brush (Trixx Creative) - Blingbling rhinestones/sequins - Pom Band (Trixx Creative) - Collall cuddle glue How to make it? 1. Choose a nice decopatch paper and draw its shape with a pencil and cut it out 2. Glue the front of the clock circle and glue the round paper shape on it. Press from the inside out and gently smooth 3. Paint the border in a nice matching color and let dry 4. Put the digits from 1 to 12 on the clock with a permanent marker 5. Stick with cuddle glue on the clock and press 6. Put the clockwork through the clock according to the instructions attached 7. Decorate the clock edge with blingbling/ sequins 8. Battery still put in your clock and you can hang it up and enjoy your clock! Clock and clock-look products - Make your own clock, wood - Beautiful quality clock with movement. This clock you can decorate yourself. It is easy to assemble, but first you can paint and decorate it on both sides. The dial and the edge of the clock are also separate from each other, which makes decorating even easier. Then you put it together. There's an eyelet to hang it on the wall. Contents: dial, border, movement, hands, mounting hardware, instructions. The clock runs on an AA battery (not included). The clock has a diameter of 15 cm. Buy the clock here Clock Reach (Hardcover) - Only during the weekend or during the holidays we can put it aside. But still it is noticed that a lot of children sometimes have some problems with reading clock. Then there is only one remedy: repetition, repetition, repetition. This game book helps to practice a lot in a fun way and master the clock reading completely. The exercises are full of variety and are arranged from simple to difficult. With some exercises, it is useful that the parent or supervisor helps for a while. We start with very simple exercises and end with exercises where even ten-year-olds have to think very deeply. Make it a game moment with your child (ren), they are in no time with their time! In this package are: A book with different games, 20 practice plates, 60 game cards in three boxes, a real practice clock reading more Buy the book here Loco maxi I learn to tell time (Paperback) - With this varied Loco booklet, children practice the basic concepts of time. They learn to recognize times in a playful way, both analog and digital. In addition, there are puzzles in which day & night and seasons occur, and concepts around time are learned. Learning to tell the clock with Loco has never been more fun. This exercise book can be used with the Loco maxi base box. Learning objectives: - Learning clock analog and digital - Practice with the basic concepts of time - Puzzling Who didn't grow up with the learning games of Loco? Loco has been around since 1968 and is the most widely used learning game in primary school. Even at home, the game is still very popular. Buy it here #klok #clock #clockwing #diy #diyklok #creatively #tinkering #decopatchen #tinting #blingbling #sphericaltape #headtoys #creametkids