De eigen advocaat en de confrater bij scheiding van een narcist


Slachtoffers van narcisten en psychopaten delven vaak jarenlang het onderspit op de rechtbank.

Zij zijn degene die na een scheiding of het verlaten van de narcist meestal achterblijven met het afbetalen van leningen afgesloten ten tijde van de relatie met de narcist. 

Ze draaien vaak alleen op voor de opvoeding van de kinderen omdat de narcist weigert alimentatie of onderhoudsgelden te betalen  zelfs als deze vastgelegd werden bij vonnis. 

Daarbovenop blijven de slachtoffers meestal achter met een enorme schuldenberg jaren na het beëindigen van dergelijke relatie  vaak nog door geblunder van een rechter .

 

Hoe is dit mogelijk? 


Vragen buitenstaanders  zich af: 

Alles is te wijten aan de advocaat  en de confrater .

Bij de narcist / psychopaat  ontbreekt elke vorm van empathie.

De duivel slaat toe en laat zijn prooi niet meer los en aan dat machtsspelletje werken sommige advocaten graag mee. 

De pathologische leugens  stapelen zich zo hoog op dat het slachtoffer voor de zoveelste keer het onderspit zal delven.

Een verwittigt man is er twee waard en een verwittigde vrouw het dubbele .


Hieronder het verschil tussen beide advocaten:   

Advocaat 1:

De advocaat van de narcist /psychopaat/ seksverslaafde/ dader: 

  • Wordt rijkelijk beloond, vaak met gelden uit misdrijven (prostitutie, pooierschap, drugshandel, wapenhandel, ...)
  • De verdiensten zijn belastingvrij, niet officieel, in het zwart dus.
  • Is uit op winstbejag. Perst zijn cliënt uit lijk een citroen.  
  • Overlegt heel vaak met de cliënt.
  • Is op elke dagvaarding of kabinetszitting aanwezig. Is zelfs aanwezig op intakegesprekken met zorgverlening en vraagt zelfs extra zittingen aan.
  • Gaat tot het uiterste voor diens cliënt.
  • Is bereid tot zware leugens over te gaan.
  • Manipuleert rechters en consulenten.
  • Stuurt brieven naar alle mogelijke instanties waar zijn cliënt om verzoekt.   
  • Wil het dossier kost wat kost behouden.
  • Is jarenlang de vaste advocaat en kent het dossier tot in detail. Is soms al generaties  lang de familieadvocaat.
  • Wint jarenlang elke zitting. Cliënt wordt voorgedragen als slachtoffer. 
  • Zal nooit pleidooien voeren tegen zijn cliënt in, in het belang van het echte slachtoffer.
  • Valt vroeg of laat door de mand.   

 

Advocaat 2: 

De advocaat van het slachtoffer van de narcist/ psychopaat/ loverboy/ dader: 

  • Cliënt is financieel snel uitgeput. Heeft geen snel verdiende gelden, leeft vaak van ziekte-of invaliditeitsuitkering of deeltijdse job en is meestal een alleenstaande ouder. 
  • Cliënt vraagt meestal om factuur, wil de honoraria storten, wil bewijsstukken van de reeds betaalde bedragen om een torenhoge afrekening te voorkomen.
  • Meestal pro-deo dossier. Kan zijn cliënt financieel niet uitpersen. Er is geen winst te behalen. 
  • Overlegt alleen wanneer het effectief nodig is.
  • Is alleen op de hoogstnoodzakelijke plaatsen aanwezig, cliënt moet vaak alleen naar dagvaardingen omdat er geen voldoende gelden zijn voor de talrijk opgestarte dossiers en/of verplaatsingskosten.
  • Cliënt stuurt vaak zijn kat op kabinetszittingen of dagvaardingen. Oftewel om gezondheidsredenen oftewel uit angst voor de dader en/of de confrater.
  • Doet alleen het noodzakelijkste voor de cliënt. Zal op de zitting wel eens ‘gaan luisteren’ wat de tegenpartij of de rechter te vertellen heeft.
  • Zowel de advocaat als de cliënt spelen het spel eerlijk. ‘Eerlijk duurt het langst’ is hun motto.
  • Doet niet aan manipulaties.
  • Stuurt enkel noodzakelijke brieven. De meeste brieven worden opgesteld door de arbeidsongeschikte cliënt zelf, het OCMW of een andere hulpverlener.
  • Wil zo snel mogelijk van het dossier af.
  • Om de haverklap overname door andere advocaat die het dossier tijdelijk beheert. Kent beperkte dossierinhoud en kan op de dagvaardingen of kabinetszittingen zijn cliënt niet voldoende verdedigen.
  • Verliest vol ongeloof talrijke zittingen. Cliënt wordt afgeschilderd als dader en ook zo veroordeeld.
  • De advocaat komt aan de kant van de destructieve partij te staan. De tegenpartij komt zo geloofwaardig over dat de aangestelde advocaat zijn eigen cliënt in het bijzijn van rechters gaat aanmoedigen het gedrag te beteren. 
  • Cliënt krijgt vroeg of laat gerechtigheid.  Maar geduld is een noodzaak. 

 


Grapje of realiteit? 

Ken jij het verschil tussen een goede advocaat en een sterren advocaat? 

 

Een goede advocaat kent de wetten en een sterrenadvocaat kent de rechter.


Tekst : Mieke Van Liefde

Foto's:  Pixabay 

Citaat: Overgenomen uit de krant en blijkbaar een grapje uit Hongarije. 

 

Scheiden van een narcist /psychopaat is een ware nachtmerrie. 

Heb jij ervaring? 

Kan je deze lijst nog uitbreiden? 

Graag uw reactie hieronder.    

 

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  • Contact privé:    miekevanliefde@outlook.be

 

Meer weten over narcisten? 

    Hier een startpagina  met ervaring en tips bij partnergeweld, omgaan met een narcist en ander destructief gedrag.

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    Meld je dan hier gratis aan:





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    Requiem: Chapter 1
    - I'm orphaned looking at the two silver-grey urns on the steel plane in the lawn. It sings, but I don't really notice. The drizzle mixes with my silent tears and flows past my grief face. I want and will keep me strong, but nothing is more difficult. My soaked hair sticks like a snail in my neck. Wherever my parents may be, in these urns or as an immortal soul in some dimension, my thoughts are with them. I am neither an atheist nor a convinced pillar biter, but the longer I walk around this globe, the more I doubt the existence of a Supreme Being. Some call this creature God, some give Him a different name. “If “He exists and has power or influence on our world, if He has any power to intervene, then such a thing should not happen. Shooting images through my head. An afternoon in the snow with my father where we made a giant snowman with all the trimmings. The beautiful black hair of my mother that I liked brushing as a little child. The many ways of life I got from both my parents. A God who allows this, I don't want to know today. The person responsible for this is all the better. It is the only creature that possesses the ability to decimate, rape, slaughter and quartering its own kind without remorse. The only living creature that kills his own kind in an instant and goes on without looking back, without even dwell on his irreversible act, just as if nothing had happened,. The remains of my parents, twice a few handfuls of ashes, descend silently into their respective urns underground. A small copper-colored plate, not so large, on which in small letters their name, date of birth and death is printed, automatically slides across the space and takes their place. It seems to me like a misplaced magic trick: now you see them... then no more! In my heart, however, they will never disappear. Arturo Mitsukai and his wife Sachiko Matai had died a violent death. Violence is, of course, an unmistakable fact from the beginning of the existence of mankind. The survival urge that is embedded in our genes is difficult to cut out as a tumor or a tumour. It is peculiar to our society and burned in us as a mark. Both in humans or in society there is one rule, one law that is still valid. The law of the strongest! Sometimes the result of this law is directly proportional to the use of the power of the person using the force. Unfortunately, there are people who only know this answer, who only listen when they feel a hard hand. Another time, the aggression used is so excessive that the majority frankly disapprove of it because it passes its goal. But when that piece of perverse brutality touches you personally, it changes you forever. It's a cancerous tumor that keeps growing and at some point breaks open like an overripe pimple. With all the disastrous consequences. It crawls into your brain, it nests like a virus in your mind, a worm that does irrevocable harm. Friends and acquaintances of my parents, some of whom I had ever seen, people from the accounting office where I work, other completely strangers to me, have just expressed their condolences in a silence that is fraught with the way my parents literally and figuratively from life-carved. I just can't imagine it, I have to try to push my thoughts away in a separate corner where they may slumber in quiet grief.. That's where I'm going to keep them for a while until the time is right. Then, the moment it's necessary, I'm going to reenepen these feelings.. I will never forget what was done to my parents, never will I forgive the unsub! My name is Yukiko Mitsukai and today I promise retribution for these murders. I appeal to this blood deed. It is the revenge, the retribution that is the only exception to the peace-loving doctrine of the Akai. If it is not possible in these circumstances, if this promise is not at the moment, then I say that there is no reason for the existence of this use in the Akai. Exceptional circumstances require exceptional measures, you taught me that. As true as I am your daughter, I will find, and hunt your murderer wherever he may hide. If I have to search on the other side of the world or in the deepest pits of hell, he will not escape me. Even if that search lasts until I die myself or people kill me. In the course of that process, I will try to use all that you have taught me to achieve my goal. Because so much that's mine now comes from you. What you have given me is priceless. Something for which I must be eternally grateful and also am. My hands and feet will become my weapons, my mind will be tougher and sharper than the steel of a sword. I hope my vengeance can give you both peace of mind. The death of your murderer will not compare anything to what he did to you. That and nothing less I promise! Actually, I ' Akai' am at heart. ………. Arturo Mitsukai cut a leaf from a beautiful flower arrangement.. Arturo was in the winter of his life. His age, hard to estimate, could hardly be attributed to him his seventy-five years. Arturo was still as straight as he used to be when he was a proud and proud young man. His step was still confident and fixed even now. Maybe a little slower than before. His short cut white-gray hair was a natural pointer to the many years he counted. The wisdom that shone from his eyes, and the serenity in the words when he spoke of something, testified to years of experience but also to a well-founded knowledge of matters. His physical condition was tiptop, there he took care of himself every day. Arturo Mitsukai walked a little five kilometers every morning, outside when the weather was nice and otherwise on the treadmill he had purchased years ago. He also regularly cycled quite a bit of distance on his bike or stationary bike in his hobby room. A healthy mind in a healthy body was certainly not an empty phrase for him.. His greatest passion, however, was his greenhouse with exotic flora. Arturo had a large collection of flowers and plants. From dozens of species of orchids, including the hybrid species Cymbidium, Vanda and Phalaenopsis to bromeliads of different genera such as Billbergia, Guzmania and Aechmea. Yuccas and other tropical plants adorned his spacious greenhouse. In the beginning, when he started with some plants, he sometimes had a hard time distinguishing one species from another. Now after all these years of searching and working with them every day with passion, he knew them by their folk and Latin names.. Orchids, he sometimes told friends, thrive in high humidity. Therefore, they perfectly match with plants with a large leaf mass. He also told them that orchids are epiphytic, which means they can grow on other plants. Therefore, they are bound to a bark with a special substrate. To achieve a natural effect, one can make a kind of tree of it yourself and then combine it with, for example, the bromeliads he grew. Greenhouse building and its applications had few secrets left for Arturo, and sometimes he walked over to a random visitor with enthusiasm. He was forgiven with all understanding of the passion for his life's work. A layman in the profession would not understand what he was doing now. Why with tenderness and love he was still removing fresh green leaves and sometimes a flowering flower — pieces representing life — from a flower arrangement? One might think that this was an act of useless mutilation, a destroying a piece of natural beauty. Why he put the green petal and the cut flower separately in a bowl with tenderness would seem strange? He would soon find a suitable destination for this collection of cut flowers and removed plant parts. These leaves, flowers, meant new life. Fertilizer for another flower or plant. Their cycle of decay was part of the circle of life of another plant or flower. This was one of the roads that the Akai wandered. Akai or red in Japanese stood before the sun on their flag Hinomaru . This meant solar disk and they still coloured their national banner . For the Akai, that sun was the source of life and growth. The strength and aesthetics of a flower should not be subordinate to the quantity of the blossoms and the green of the leaf. Depending on the number and size of the leaves that were different for each type of flower. Thus grows and blooms a flower, a plant in all its splendor. Waste was a sin against the rules of nature. This way of life of the Akai brought balance, balance and peace of mind to the plant and flower world, as well as to the flora in the conservatory of Arturo Mitsukai. This way of thinking could be extended in a number of cases for some human life values. Sometimes one can develop certain qualities better by converting his known weaknesses in oneself into positive forces. The power of a man is only as strong as his greatest weakness. By going and working this way, man improves himself as a whole. By working on its lesser good sides, one strengthens the overall picture of oneself. When the door of the conservatory opened and the chill of the evening blew his fresh breath over the back of Arturo, he did not look back. The smell of jasmine tea met him in the person of Sachiko Matai, his life companion.. Like him, she was dressed in a sober black and white ensemble that extra accentuated her light skin. A skin like silk he knew so well, a body he still coveted. His love for Sachiko in the last season of his life was no longer marked by the bright colours of passion or by the impetuousness of youth. Now their relationship knew the gentle depth of control, a trait peculiar to their old age and the knowledge of their unconditional love for each other. Proof of this they have been providing for so many years, so many days together in prosperity and adversity. It goes without saying that one achieves such a thing only after a long time. To be able to walk the way of life together is a privilege that one can rightly be proud. It is indeed an adventure of trial and error, a process of learning and understanding, of giving and taking. Periods of happiness and disaster alternate as in every human life, but each time one helps each other back on top of it. That was the core of their love. It was not always an easy road, but it eventually led to the daily enjoyment of the deep affection between a man and a woman. With a loving smile as a silent thank you, he sipped the hot jasmine tea she had brought for him. He preferred this kind of tea, not only because he thought it was the best fragrance tea, but also because the tea was made by laying jasmine flowers among the leaves of green tea. He found that symbolically in balance with his hobby, with his hundreds of flowers and plants he grew in his conservatory. Actually, the tea he drank was of Chinese origin where they used ten kilos of jasmine flowers to obtain about one kilo of jasmine tea. The tea at Arturo had a calming effect and worked relaxing. It also promoted his digestion, which at his age was indeed important. Therefore, he was always grateful for the jasmine tea that his wife prepared him every day without fail. He still found Sachiko Matai attractive and slim, although she was barely five years younger. On several occasions he told her that. True love and affection is expressed in words and deeds. Sometimes after years of silence or blindly accepting an established fact, that self-evident affection disappears with a little bit and at a time it's gone, one day it's completely gone. Sachiko allowed to color her gray hair black at her age. Sachiko did this to please her husband and not out of personal vanity. That would be a sin for an Akai. Arturo had once told me that if he met her for the first time, it was her black long hair that he first noticed.. He fell first for her black shiny hair, then for her silent smile that always shone in her eyes and when he really met her as his future wife, he fell for the wife Sachiko herself. It was so long ago. Times gone by and then she was such a young and ignorant child. Now, as a grown woman, she put her hair up in a bun, but at night, in the intimacy of their bedroom, she loosened it and caressed Arturo with the same love and affection through her raven-black long hair before kissing her goodnight. Sachiko had never used anything of makeup in her life. By the way, her husband always said that she possessed some kind of natural beauty, still blushing every time after the little complement like the young girl she had once been. Even before Arturo drank his cup of tea, the light went out in the conservatory and several things happened at once. Arturo and Sachiko were both surprised, both by the darkness and by the strange smell of the spray that came out of the nebulizer nozzles. Shocked, they wanted to run together to the exit of the greenhouse but their feet refused duty after a few shaky steps. The world began to turn in front of their eyes like a blurry image and they remained staggering, seeking support together. However, those last steps that removed them from the oxygen-rich and liberating evening air were no longer awarded to them. The delineated perimeter of the conservatory door disappeared into an ever-darkening fog before their eyes as they both fell unconscious among their orchids, lilies, bromeliads and other exotic plants that shared their love every day. ………. Slowly, the world came back in varying degrees of pain. It was beating like a nagging banging in the back of his head, a moping in his teeth, a dry throat begging for water, and his old bones that were apparently bruised in several places. It was an extremely tormented feeling all over his body that woke up from the anaesthetic. Arturo moaned softly when he opened his eyes. The light was too bright, flashed painfully like the sharp of a knife through his mind so he turned his head very carefully to the right. To his great dismay and fear, he saw that his wife Sachiko was in the same circumstances.. Like him, she was with both hands and feet tied to a chair. She sat next to him within reach. If he wasn't handcuffed, he could touch them like that. So close and yet so far apart. Tagged with a dirty cloth she too was slowly reeling and looked around her amazed and anxious. A surprised and troubled look appeared in her eyes when she noticed Arturo. Then the first musical sounds slipped through the space in which they were tied. The tones sizzled like glowing hot coals through their awakening bodies. Both Sachiko and Arturo, who could taste a piece of good classical music in different circumstances, regained consciousness on the sounds of a gloomy Requiem. That's a Mozart piece, it shot Sachiko in the head, almost at the same time as her husband recognized the piece of music. The familiar words sounded to them, but a throbbing headache prevented both from amazing at this music . Facts mixed with their tormented feelings. The Requiem of Mozart was the last and unfinished work of the Master, composed on his sick bed. It had been figuratively and literally his last composition, his requiem. One of those futile facts that shot through the spirit of Arturo. Something that barely mattered right now. He knew that Frans Xaver Süssmayr had composed this unfinished composition of Mozart into a legendary polyphonic piece of music. Why Arturo was thinking about that, he didn't know? Just a neurotransmitter that passed some information through a synapse into a human's head. A chemical reaction at a time when other things were much more important in their difficult situation. They heard the sounds and words of Lacrimosa , the sixth part of the Requiem of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart from various corners of the walls threatening to flow on them. Lacrimosa Dies Illa, In terms of Resurget Ex Favvilla Judicandus Gay Giant, On that day of tears To which the guilty man From the ashes will rise To be judged A theatrical figure dressed in a wide white robe entered the room and suddenly danced like an unreal ghost with swirling gestures around them. Arturo and Sachiko followed the creature with anxious eyes. In every tone of the death song he waved a samurai sword around them, between them, and finally hit them during that macabre dance occasionally with surefire blows. The shining weapon reflected light at every move and at every stroke. Flashing blows to injure, not yet to kill. As a conductor's measure, the white spirit used the razor-sharp weapon on the sounds of the song, like a master he felt and shielded to the rhythm of music. Lacrimosa Dies Illa, Cutting and carving. bumps and twists. The gag choked in part the screaming of pain, their begging for mercy. However, the blood flowed with every note, more and more in a gloomy crescendo, in a menacing climax. The white dress their executioner wore turned red, soaked with blood on the sounds of gloomy music. The song led to an inhumane tragic but certain death. And death danced like a devil around them! In terms of resurget Ex Favvilla Judicandus Gay Giant, Huic Ergo Parce Deus Pie Jesu, Domine, Dona Requirement Requiem. Then be merciful to him, Oh, God.! Dear Jesus, Lord, Give them peace. The life of Arturo Mitsukai and his wife Sachiko now flows very quickly into streams out of them. Their bodies had been torn and pieces of skin were hung up unmaterially on their bodies. In their blood-filled eyes there was no hope, almost no light left. Just a sputtering pilot that threatened to extinguish every moment. Dona Requirement Requiem . A plea! Give them peace! The white-red nightmare, which unfortunately was not a dream, straightened up in all its strength, ready for the last notes. The sword raised high above himself, and on the word 'Requiem' he pulled out with all his power for the final blow, beheaded his two victims with a smooth movement in one stroke with the razor-sharp Nihonto.. The final sung word of the Requiem shouted the form even louder than the voices of the choir several times, while the heads of Arturo and Sachiko rolled on the ground in front of his feet as a final release from their suffering. His ultimate satisfaction, their forgiveness in death! 'Amen, Amen, Amen!’ © Rudi J.P. Lejaeghere Requiem: Prologue or Chapter 1 - Requiem: Prologue - Requiem: Chapter 2 -