Nafisa Nazneen Choudhury

· 03 May 2020

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Mother's tactics

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Every mother has tactics for their child to make things work out for them (by tactics I mean weapons that are even more dangerous than military ones…yes!). They have special tricks up their sleeves which can make you do things which you don’t want to.

In my case too, my mother applied tricks on me. For instance, when I was a kid I had the habit of finger sucking (both the index and middle finger of left hand) while sleeping. My mother tried hard to make me leave that habit. This “trying hard” includes tying these two fingers with a cloth while I was asleep. But thanks to my dearest maternal grandmother (smiles), she ordered my mother not to do so (thumbs up for me…I mean those two fingers…hahaha!). Then she thought of one idea where she took the wicket (argh). She told me that because I sucked those two fingers, the index finger grew shorter than the middle finger (of course, I didn’t know that all fingers universally grow of different sizes (facepalm)…silly me!). I got really upset after that (I cried too…hahahaha!). I even tried to pull my index finger to make its height equal to that of the middle one (hysterically laughs). I also remember a question asking myself, “What have I done?” And then, of course, I had to leave that habit (that tactic of my mother fell like a grenade on me…phew!).

So you see that’s how my mother took full advantage of my gullibility (I don’t know about you but I have full sympathy for the kid version of myself…sigh!). Not only this, there are other examples too like during summers if she wants you out of the room or wants to wake you up in the morning, she will do either of these things (her masterplans!)-

Switches off the fan of your room so that you start sweating and eventually leave the room.
Opens all doors and windows so that sun’s glare disturbs you.
Switches on all lights of the room and leaves all windows open so that you get highlighted from outside to be seen by the neighbors that you are still asleep.
Takes your random pictures with your phone to irritate you.
Opens the window and folds up the mosquito net for the mosquitoes to attack you.
Plays loud music near your ears till your eardrum bursts.
Asks you questions about what to have for breakfast in the same way as Narco test while you are asleep.
Sprinkles water on your face.
Asks you if your school or college is open that day or not so that if by any chance you say “No”, then you will freak out after some time dwelling upon what you said in the fear of missing attendance in school or college (works on me…hahahaha!!).
Last but not the least, after failing attempts pretends to fall asleep near you so that you somehow realize that the source of waking you up is not there and you might miss school/college (most powerful weapon trust me!).

During winters, she will lift up your blanket or switch on the fan so that you feel cold and at last wake up (the only weapon in the winters…no sign of getting out from it really!)

Other tricks include secretly putting vegetables inside your food that you love so that you fall into her trap and eat it, emotional blackmailing how much she did for you and you can’t even do little things for her (that emotional blackmailing goes straight into your heart like an arrow hitting bulls eye, believe me!), rolling her eyes on you when you are somewhere out of your house with her as a signal that you have made a mistake and she will correct you when you reach home (yikes) and many more (ask your mother to know more…haha!).

So, if you know how to overcome these tactics then you can sleep like a king or stay in your room as long as you want or do whatever you want (but I don’t think there’s a way out…seriously!).

You might be thinking, “Where do they get these ideas from?” Well, scholars, historians, scientists have not found any evidence (I think so). They are still trying you see (I think their mothers used such tricks too…hahahaha!!).

There are some stories by my mother too which I believed when I was a kid (false ones created by her to make me behave well…hehe!). Like swallowing the seeds of fruits will lead to the growing of a tree inside my stomach and shoes grow on trees so new shoes will take time to grow and reach me (for me literally shoes grew on trees…hahahaha!!).

You must be thinking, “How can we kids believe all that?” Well, things get difficult when you are discovering everything new as a kid (nowadays kids can’t be fooled as they have become so smart…unlike us…haha! because of technology in their hands at an early age). But glory to those days when things were so much simpler than now (That doesn’t mean we can still escape from our mothers as their tactics are also changing with time…red alert!). So what we can do is follow their advice (keep trying your tactics too you never know which tactic might work (giggles)) and keep them happy (because you never know when you might need the help of her for tackling other difficulties…hehe!).