It's no secret that I am most often bemused by complete strangers. However once in a while an IRL experience happens.

That's what this improv is about. I met her in a Caribbean joint, SHE talk to me first and from there I felt like myself. First time in a long time.

A few minutes waiting for a customer in front of us, fortunately felt like 15 and a long conversation. She was the most beautiful thing I'd seen in so many months. I immediately had hope. Hope for this city. Hope for having someone. Hope for the future.

I walked her the couple blocks to her alley and there we stood for another 10 minutes at least effortlessly chatting away. No awkward moments. No searching for words. No processing thoughts. It just, fit. And since that day I have been for lack of better explanation, in love.

I am aware this is not going anywhere for the simple fact it is not reciprocated however it does not invalidate my feelings because for me they are real and rare and wonderful and welcome.

This exact feeling from which I speak has happened to me only two times prior in my life. Both times resulted in long relationships. One extremely fulfilling and successful until it's end and one extremely chaotic and regretful.

Both Caucasian women, I had intentionally wanted to explore a relationship with a person of color upon arriving in Baltimore.  Beyond intimate experiences, I've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend thang. Interestingly enough, the only women showing interest since I've been in B'more, are Caucasians.

Now, in this case in particular, my muse and wishful-girlfriend is a white woman with a German name. Kind of mindblowing. I can't fight what Goddess and the universe align me with. It's oddly always the same.
I remain open. I remain lonely. I remain optimistic.
I remain.