Will I survive?



I've been told to write about what really hurts me and what's keeping me silent all the time ,
drowning in my own space... But I couldn't spell any significant phrase , I didn't know what to write or
how to feel or if I should beg anyone for help.. it was just too dark to write , too old fashioned to give a fuck ...
it's just multiple shades of grey are being seen and my soul is sinking . However , I don't think I will suvive those things or even just get up and feel the same again... What I really want you to know is ; that I am
pralysed by fear ...
Then you'll ask me about that fear which robs me of all my senses and I wouldn't be able to answer because I don't know how to describe my inability to move or how my muscles are cramped , all I am able to do is blinking , just blinking and watching all the darkness around me , I am surrounded by it like a prey and no movements ...
My heart should have gone crazy but it doesn't and that's the weirdest thing not to feel anything ,
not to move , not to fight it back ... Just pralysed and knowing that the earth isn't collapsing because I am bare foot and I still feel the coldness of the walls behind me...
So I should be sad , I think I should be that way so I can feel something at least and give it a reason to cut me the throat and make me feel sore...
I think you shouldn't read all of that and I know if you read it , you won't know how much ache my soul is facing , you won't notice the struggle I am fighting back ...
However , Don't pity me ... Never do so..

#notes  #survivor #drowningin #thoughts #Dontpityme #nopity #watchme   
 
I'm @paonela
#iamnewhere Expert in Digital Solutions, with over 10 years experience in communications and web technology, I have my own marketing and social media company. I am the fourth generation of a family of journalists and writers with Simon Bolivar awards in Colombia, which has been a great influence, I was born seeing books in every corner of my house, luxury books and magazines made by my family, from my father I have learned to enjoy photography and the ease of making good friends @Franco Mendoza Photo and my mother's @Eza Chavez I have learned her ability to solve everything “she can”, all this aroused in my not only curiosity, creativity but a sense of responsibility. I love adventure, and good energies, so one day I grabbed my suitcase and went on a trip, I love traveling I can't imagine life without doing it, it's definitely part of me... Traveling shortens distances, it breaks down walls, makes us feel that the whole world is ours and that borders are whims of some unknown power, we discover and understand other cultures, those that seemed so distant and incomprehensible to us are in front of us and that not only does not represent a problem, but it is fascinating to us. Photos: The Bahá'í temple in Santiago de Chile is the first in South America, the central dome is surrounded by nature and has 9 sides, the 9 access gates are the main features of Bahá'í temples. The symbolism of number 9 corresponds to the fact that the doors point to different directions of the planet to welcome all people. I hope to find at YOORS an interesting space that will allow me to interact and get to know other cultures., in addition to showing them a little what I do.
Recycled elephant born
What do the plastic litre bottles of milk and juice look a lot like elephants, huh?? Every time when pouring milk or juice, I think that elephant really needs to come out of it.. Otherwise he'll keep haunting in my head.. Hence our plastic bottle elephant, pimped with Decopatch paper. That is, the elephant is pasted with torn pieces of design paper and Decopatch glue/lacquer. It's a lot of fun to do! Now we've made it a nice brush pot, which is very happy in the hobby room.! It's not complicated, but you can see the step-by-step photos below. Almost the whole bottle has been used, because the ears can also be cut out of the bottle. And the bottom of the bottle fits right at the bottom of the elephant, so your brush pot is completely closed from below. (Not waterproof, so as a vase it is not usable) . A recycled elephant was born from a plastic juice bottle, you don't want to miss a birth like that.? :) Choose 2 fun designs from the large Decopatch design paper range. See the whole range HERE. Cut the bottle to the desired size.. Draw the elephant pattern the way you want to cover it with waterproof marker.. You can also cut the elephant alone, so without “rock” if you like it better.. Tear some paper into small pieces and start sticking the pieces on the bottle.. Make sure the pieces overlap and iron Decopatch glue underneath and onto the pieces of paper.. The adhesive is also lacquer and dries transparently.. Between the legs you can stick an aid circle with grey paper, (cut 2 same) so that the distance between the legs is the same on both sides. Here we cover the “rock” with the grey design paper. But that can be a different design too.. That's what it looks like from the side. Stick a nice ribbon or colored mini ball strap ( more info ) around the opening. Residual plastic ears cut. Cut a bit of bend so the ears are slightly wider.. Paste it with Decopatch paper too.. This is the bottom of the bottle.. It fits right into the bottom of the elephant.. Stick it with double-sided tape or all glue.. The tail is a bar of decopatch paper, which is folded in half several times lengthwise.. With ball strap you make his tassel. Use the elephant pot as a brush holder, pen or pencilpot, or put dry flowers or fake twigs in it. The elephant in its natural habitat, making it feel comfortable at home. Born from a plastic juice bottle, recycled elephant. Do you like him a little too?? Flying pigs - Read more Pink Elephants Seen? - Read more How to make an elephant out of paper? - Read more Book Elephants - Discover the fascinating world of elephants. Learn where elephants live, what they eat, and how they care for their young. This book introduces you to these gentle giants and find countless fun facts and beautiful photos.. More info Book Elephant Girl (Novel) - “Elephant Girl” by Ellen Marie Wiseman tells the story of Lily, who is sold to the circus at the age of ten in the 30s. One summer night in 1931, ten-year-old Lily Blackwood gets out for the first time.. Her mom takes her to the circus.. But what Lily doesn't know is that she'll never come home again.. View Copy Book The Elephant Whisperer - My Life with the Flock in the African Wilderness. Written by conservation Lawrence Anthony (with Graham Spence) With infinite patience, Lawrence Anthony manages to win the trust of the elephants herd. View Copy Diamond Painting on Canvas - Elephant - 30x40cm More info Beach Dress - Elephant - 210cm x 240cm - Towel - Bath Towel - Beach - Roundie - more info Diamond Painting Double Sided Key Chain Set Elephants 5 Pieces - more info - Want to see more here on Yoors?? Or comment or maybe post something yourself? That can! Subscribe to Yoors (free) first: - Join Yoors for free and free of obligation! #elephant #decopatchen #melkfles #sapfles #recycle #elephantje #tinkering #decopatchen   #kwastenpot   #pennenpot   #decoration   #plasticfles   #literfles