Say it louder for the people in the back! So many people struggle with this. This made me think of the quote "listen without defending and speak without offending".
I can still remember that sometime in my working life, I did 'sensitivity training' with colleagues from the department where I worked at the time. That's where you learn how to deal with criticism, and that has helped me a lot. Others see you all the time (ALWAYS)!) different from how you see yourself.
What I find particularly important is that I always want to keep learning and developing as a person. So also be open to the things that are said to me in a respectful and loving way. And vice versa, act like that. And at the same time, I also have self-love... Show moreWhat I find particularly important is that I always want to keep learning and developing as a person. So also be open to the things that are said to me in a respectful and loving way. And vice versa, act like that. And at the same time, I also have self-love and self-acceptance, because they are equally important to me. For me, trying to ignore something that doesn't come to you in a respectful way and turning it into something positive was an eye-opener that a friend recently taught me. I'm very sensitive to negative ones and that just happens to me, just like someone is stressed, it stresses me out without even knowing it. And then I notice that I'm getting restless. So I train myself not to let the other person's behavior come down to me as a negative blanket, but I'll immediately turn it into something positive.
I also read the Dutch translation, such as @Rudy Siedlecki 🌳 and had a bit of the same impression, but this is due to the translation. Defensive driving in traffic, for example, is good. But going on the offensive doesn't help anyone.
Defensive means defensive. I'm guessing you mean aggressive or offensive. It's confusing to read that you shouldn't be defensive, but you should be defensive.
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