Poverty, what does that do to you...
#poverty
For a long time I didn't want to admit it. but indeed, according to
social measure I am poor.
See by me, you won't really. Okay, I'm not completely dressed up, there
I'm not the type for either, but I dare to say that I look well-groomed.
You probably don't see from my son that we're at the bottom of the
social ladder dangle; his clothes are decent and he never has a
empty sandwich box to school. It's just all in the little things. Having anxiety when someone gets sick or needs to go to the dentist. Postponing a haircut at the hairdresser as long as possible. Hope that son's love can go through with his clothes for an entire season this year. Not being able to just take a trip or plan a party. Not going to parties because you can't afford a gift.
I have a reasonable education (bachelor) and I work. So where did it go wrong, I hear you think. Well, since the article is not about that, I will briefly
answer the bend (I apologize). An ugly divorce and my naive confidence in the goodness and honesty of others brought me to this point, I fear. As my late uncle would say. YOU HAVE BEEN FAR TOO GOOD.
But what does this do to you, as a human being and as a mother?
I could give a whole psychological explanation here, but I'd rather keep it close to myself.
AN OVERWHELMING SENSE OF FAILURE
That's pretty much the first thing that comes to mind. How did it come to this? I'm not stupid, right? Was I really so naive?
Also the feeling that I'm getting exactly nothing done in this area. Yes, I have help from agencies, but that is with mixed feelings. I realize their usefulness and I wouldn't probably be able to do without it. But often there are people in front of you who can hardly move in your position and only increase your sense of failure. and in the end, they don't really help but just tap you on the fingers and you come to do it yourself anyway.
PSYCHOLOGICALLY YOU GO INTO THE DEEPER
Because of this whole condition, I have officially had 2 burnouts, a mild one and one that lambed me for 8 months. But to say that I'm cured now is a lot, those dark shadows still hang there.
Furthermore, it has disrupted my family in the sense that my daughters have almost fled the house. which was also not imminent to my self-image, now I also failed as a mother.
Finally, I have developed a serious anxiety disorder due to having to take care of my money matters. I literally get panic attacks and physical symptoms when I have to settle something, fear that it will go wrong again. While for all this, I always just handled my money business without any problems.
A SKYHIGH SENSE OF GUILT
Of course, I also have people around me who help me and I am very grateful for that. But it's also double, which I also feel immensely guilty of getting some things from them (and know that I honestly depend on that, although I often try to be very big by claiming I'll do it all).
And fortunately, most of them give. my partner this without a doubt, just from love and a good heart. Unfortunately, you also have people who give you and then expect you to nod YES to everything under the guise for what hears. These people are poisonous for your soul. If it was just me, well then it was simple. but when I look at my little boy, it's going to be difficult.
YOUR HEALTH SUFFERS
Going to the dentist is a financial disaster. so yes my teeth suffer. They sometimes say laughing that you recognize poor people by their teeth. well that's true.
But also in the store, I often have to make the unhealthy choices to get by anyway. Fresh cauliflower that is pepper-expensive or still frozen? Biofruit or not? Wanting to eat healthy is unfortunately expensive.
A SERIOUS SENSE OF HOPELESSNESS
Because I seem to fail in everything and I see so little real progress, sometimes the feeling of hopelessness overcomes me. The feeling of this is it and it never gets better.
But before it becomes a very lament here, I would also like to highlight a few dots that it has brought me.
YOU GET TO KNOW YOUR REAL FRIENDS
Because, unfortunately, it is those that remain. and there aren't really many. Because as soon as you can no longer join the social mallemolen, a lot of friends fall away. Of course, you also get to know other people, each with their own story, who are in similar circumstances.
YOU GET CREATIVE
You will consciously look for low budget nutrition tips or getaways. You do more to
recycle or exchange initiatives nearby. This also makes you really aware of how we all live in the 'land of plenty' and we can really do with a little less.
YOU WILL BE GRATEFUL AND HUMBLE
Because you are thrown back on all the essentials, you really get a lesson in humility. This really doesn't just happen to the low-skilled and tokkies. They say everyone is 6 pay slips away from the gutter, well I think that's true. This can happen to anyone and you don't have to be stupid for that. Serious bad luck a few times is enough. At the same time, you also become grateful, grateful for the little things that bring a ray of sunshine.
FINALLY, THIS.
I DIDN'T WRITE THIS TEXT TO STIR UP PITY.
It's what it is and somehow I'll get through it.
I just want to think about what this is doing to you a little more often and that this can happen to everyone. Poverty is not something that only happens stupid people or is your own mistake. You don't always see poverty 1 2 3, we're a rock in camouflage LOL.
So, if you suspect someone is living in poverty. then don't judge too quickly. There is often a whole story behind it that you don't know. and really, you're in fact just a few steps away from poverty. A few serious setbacks and you're there. even though I don't wish anyone.
The story witch,
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Just a second: Never feel guilty buying frozen vegetables instead of fresh ! Often, the frozen vegetables are even richer in vitamins than the fresh ones. ! They are frozen directly from the field, while that 'fresh' has often come a long way.