It was a beautiful spring day and the sun shone in my face as I enjoyed the weather. I cycled back from school after a long and grueling day of study and wondered what the supper would be. As I cycled, something strange happened, the feeling that I have slipped through my fingers in reality. This process continued the rest of the day and in the evening in front of the mirror I saw a body standing there. Reality was completely blurred and I felt alienated from myself. It was like I wasn't in the body anymore. It's going to be years before I finally figure out what happened now. And even longer to discover ways to escape from that state. It was like I was a fish that was placed in a plastic bag of water and thrown into the water. You're in the water but at the same time you're not there, you 'exchange bubbles' with other fish. But you're behind a barrier and there's no way to escape, where are you going to escape? Depersonalization/derealization devalues your whole reality because you simply no longer experience that reality. You're like another object in the room but can't touch the objects. You don't live in the body but are lived by an overactive brain activity. You can't sleep because you're freaking about it and in fact you think it's for the rest of your life and completely hopeless (it's not.!). Food becomes a kind of mechanical afterthought, yes feels a little better, but it's not the same as it used to be. Sex barely interests you, you watch the other teens or adults are happy, dating and doing other things. And at the same time, you feel indifferent and despondent because this aspect of your life was blatantly snatched away from you. You wonder why you deserve that. What the hell did I do to experience something like that? (this section of the blog is depressing but please read it. by).


In summary, I wouldn't wish my worst enemy, and yet, you can get out of it. You just need to know how that can be done and this blog is about it. If you want to philosophize, discuss, or prove something, that's not for you. It is a hands-on work that was put together purely out of the sense of solidarity. If you've been through that hell and have had to experience it, then there is a kind of sympathy for the people who are in the same situation. Moreover, at the time I was helped a lot by blogs like this and YouTube movies of the people who explained what you can do to escape from that state. And the least I can do is to write something like that to redeem my 'debt' and in that way move the generation after me forward. It's an insider perspective, a story from an experience expert if you like.

In what follows, I will provide information on a per-point basis that can be applied to work slowly on yourself. It's a rope I drop in the dark tunnel, it's up to you the choice of what to do with that rope. Are you going to climb up slowly and painfully or torch that thing to pretend you didn't see anything because it's much easier?

You're not alone: depersonalization and/or derealization is something that several people are going through in other parts of the world. There may be a feeling of being isolated and you tend to withdraw from the world. This is something I would highly advise against, it is important to stay weekly among the people and prefer ably find a hobby that helps you connect with the others. Over the years of depersonalization, I have done the following things to deal with: zen meditation, capoeira, parkour, swimming and many other activities. It may seem like a big challenge and you have the feeling of total indifference. This is the point where you have to overcome yourself to take small steps to get back among the people.

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4 comments
Best Shodo. Can I get in touch with you personally. I've been dealing with complaints for years but I can't get any further. Maybe you can help me get started.. Mvg Herwin
Iets interessants dat ik had ontdekt over depersonalisatie, het gaat over een reactie van iemand op... Show more
k Ben nu filmpjes aan t beluisteren hierover..t is niet niks