keepfaithbaby

@calanthemavis · 11 Feb 2021

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UNWANTED - a one-shot about Renesmee Cullen

I was an abomination. An aberration, as Sam Uley and Jacob Black, had referred to me as. I wasn’t supposed to be born. I wasn’t supposed to exist. And yet, I did. A proof of eternal love in my parents’ eyes, but secretly a monster.

I was running. From what? From who? From my family. From all the lies that had been spread about me. I wasn’t normal and I would never be. I grew faster than time. I was in an arranged marriage with a man who had wanted to kill me. And for a valid reason!) I had almost killed his first love. Who wouldn't hate a murderer who had brutally mutilated their own mother?

But the worst of all?

Everyone hated me. Everyone had hated me from the moment I had been conceived. They thought I was a monster, killing my mother from the inside, breaking her ribs and drinking her blood. I was aware of it; I had always been. A blessing and a curse of always having had an advanced mind.

Having a mind reader for a father and an empath for an uncle made everything even more complicated. I always had to control myself. At least aunt Alice couldn’t see my future.

Until one day I had collapsed in the backyard. I had burst like a soap bubble who had been popped. I hadn’t been able to hold it inside me any longer. Some spirits from above had decided that it had been about time to be seen as the creature I truly was - weak, selfish attempting to be selfless alas always failing miserably.

“Why would you send for me if you didn't even want me?”, I had cried without wanting to. I had unleashed all of my buried thoughts in one single unwanted moment. I hadn’t asked for any of it! Now everyone would hate me even more!

“But we did want you, Renesmee. We’ve always wanted you,” my mother spoke and I could tell from the hint in her voice that she had panicked. That she hadn’t been sure how to answer. I couldn’t blame her. I was unusual. The most unusual.

The rest of my family hadn’t opened their mouths. Not even my auntie Rosalie, who had fought for me to be born. I would be forever grateful to her. But her love wasn’t enough. When too much negativity surrounds you, it’s difficult to focus on the rays of light that are supposed to represent positivity. All you see is a sky, covered in grey clouds, each of which is darker than the other.

That was how my life (or should I say existence) felt - always working harder, pushing myself to my limits. I had forced myself to speak my first sentence a week after my birth and then to mimic my aunt Alice’s ballerina-like walk style. Aged three months old, I had read from the book of poems my mother would read to me. All because I wanted to be loved. But who would want a freak show in their house? Especially one who struggled with adapting to the family’s diet of animal blood. Since the womb, I had preferred fresh human blood, warmer and sweeter than any deer or mountain lion. Every time I slipped up and had a blood bag from the fridge I wasn’t supposed to open, my grandfather, the doctor who measured me every morning, would shoot disappointed looks at me. I would always want to shrink, to disappear in a black hole, to never re-appear.

Those were moments that added up to the proofs I should have never been born, to begin with.

As I kept on running, my eyes were focused on the ground, hurtful words ringing in my head. I couldn’t block anything anymore. I couldn’t even hear my family. They seemed to be nowhere to be found. Showed how much they wanted me.

I didn’t stop running until I reached the cliff. And when I stopped, a tear ran down my flushed face. I hesitated whether I should jump from the cliff.

#renesmeecullen #oneshot #renesmee #twilight