“Mom?”
“Yes, child.”
“I was thinking...”
(Shit, if they think..., then it usually goes wrong... Something comes again, brace yourself Anous and prepare yourself for the worst.)
“So I was thinking... I know how babies are made.”
“Yes, that's a whole art.”
“It's not very difficult, because you've done it five times!”
(Oh, my God, what do I owe this?????!!!????)
“It is so difficult! You need to practice well and do it just at the right time.”
“At the right time?”
“Yes, not when your parents are home for example”
“Heuhhhh??”
“Forget what I said, that was a joke. I mean that a woman can only conceive a few days a month, on those days you are fertile.”
“Oh, so only on those days can you make love?”
“The other days are to practice. That's why it's such an art, you have to do it right at just the right time.”
“Oh...”
“You can't do that practice until you're 18.”
“Were you 18 too?”
(Holymoses, this is a trick question!!)
“Not exactly.”
“Uh, what?”
“Well, it wasn't on my 18th birthday.”
“Oh ok...”
(Soooowwww, I get away with this!!)
“But only a woman and a man can have children?”
“Yeah, joke, you really need a man and a woman.”
“What if two men want a baby?”
“Well, then they can find a surrogate. Then she can carry the baby. Or they can adopt.”
“But what I wonder...”
(Well it's coming... Where's Cees? Then he can take over! No, pull yourself together, Anous, you can do this!)
“What do you wonder?”
“If two men want to make love now. A man does not have such a hole as a woman.”
“No, otherwise it wouldn't be a man.”
“If a man is going to make love to a man, where is he supposed to stick his dick in?”
“Yes, lady... that's a whole art too...”
“Whahaha!!” , calls the two year younger sister,
“I know!!!!! In his mouth!!!”
I see the girl I was talking to pulling away some white. With big eyes, she looks at me:
“No right, mom...???”
“Well... anyway... That is a possibility...”
“Luckily you're not a gay man, otherwise you should be too!” , the little sister almost rolls off her chair while sister looks seriously surprised.
“Well, that would be something, eh, pooh, I'm just glad I love men!”
“But where else can they put their wiener in?” , the little sister feels like it. Big sister seems to get used to the idea and starts to chuckle a bit.
(What should I say? Play open cards and expose the proverbial buttocks? Oh, why just when Cees is not in the room!? I would like some backup!)
“Ohhhhhh, I think I know!!!” , the little sister lies half next to her chair of laughter, “POEPGAT!!!!”
“No, Mom, that's not true, is it?” , sister looks what frightened and laughable at the same time.
“If you really want to know... yes.”
“I'm not going to be gay! No really!” , sister is very convincing.
“That can't be done at all! You would be a lesbian!” , the little sister is quick of understanding...
“Oh! Yes, Mom..., how do lesbies actually make love?”
“Dear girls, think about that for yourself. We'll talk about it later, okay? I think it's enough revelations for one day.”
(And now get up quickly, Anous! Make that cup of coffee you so crave, which you really deserve!)
“Mom, are you glad you're not gay?”
(Shit, I was too slow!)
“Well, everything two men can do, a man and a woman can do too.”
“...” - this must clearly come in for a moment...
I see the two girls looking at each other, they giggle, they make a dirty face, they look at me and they look at each other quickly to laugh hard.
“Mom, let's go play out again!”
“All right, girls, have fun.”
As they walk down the stairs, I can still hear them laughing.
Ok, now I want coffee - a black tray, blacker than the night. I earned this one!

Cheers men and women: to love! #koffie #ouderschap #openkaart
#oploskoffie #aandekeukentafel #opengesprek #opvoeden #thuisonderwijs #seksuelevoorlichting #geenschaamte #moeilijk #meiden #dochters #zevenjaar #negenjaar #homo #homoseksualiteit #manenvrouw #homolesbieszijn