A blessing that turned into a stressing
#storms#difficulties#Ikeepstrongnomatterwhat
A blessing that turned into a stressing
Freaking shit...... So my job called today and tested the two opportunities with people in Suriname and one in England, And it comes down to this point that it all seems to be too risky when it comes to insurances and so on to let me work in Indonesia. I was devastated. I felt like the storm was hitting me hard like life is against me or something like that.So I almost wanted to burst out in anger, do you know how long I am fighting for this? And how complicated everything can be? So yes what a sad Tuesday it is. What a shit news...... So there I drop my eggs. And what now? should I give up? Does this mean when life is throwing lemons to my side that I'm just gonna sit there until I am a bunch of juice? No? What the freak. I'm just gonna search for something else. Another option in the sales as long as I can just be there and break the chains with this life in the Netherlands. I'll do it.
So you see? Even though there are struggles, I won't give in
This story I wanted to share with you, to let you know what is a little bit going behind the curtains. It's not always red roses and valentine. It's sometimes also experiencing terrible downers like this in my life.You know how disappointed I felt when they sad ya... We have tried everything to make it work for you, but it's gonna be difficult. And I thought like what shit is this,? But I thought Ok, And believe me this is freaking hard to think if you just had a punch in your face. But it is the storm that shapes you. And what shapes you; Knowing that rejection is redirection. Though It feels shit, I mean I feel this even when I write I am like ''what a shitshow that I first had good hope and right after that it turns into shit''
I feel the fear in the insecurity but I'll do it anyway.
Because When I see what happened when I returned in the Netherlands I don t have a lot of good words about it. I mean, of course, there happened also a lotta good things. So It's not a bad story here in the Netherlands. But there are also lotta things that I wouldn't have if I Just stayed in Bali, But ok that's after all talk. The important thing right now is that I don't give up the hope that I'll just keep on pushing. Just find another income source or stream and starting a life there next year.
And yes I feel the fear! I feel the ''hufff what if...... what if.... but what if........''I am very open and honest. I am not the and I have my digital mansions full of dollars typo and in the end, i live in the basement of my mom. haha( you know that internet shizzle you always see).
