~ Sexual Healing ~
The model of modern sacred sexuality has the same theme, or goal, as its predecessors, but with two primary differences. First, today’s arts of sacred sex are a melting pot, or synthesis, of the more ancient practices. Second, because of the prevalence of sexual abuse and generations of sexual repression, the future for practicing true sacred sexuality includes a greater emphasis on sexual issues and healing. This healing is necessary to make room within a person’s being for a greater quantity and higher quality of energetic ecstasy.
In an age when people believe that “more is better,” it’s no wonder men and women obsess over shallow levels of sexual relations and feel pressured to have orgasms, or even multiple orgasms. Yet, people actually need to move in the opposite direction–slow down, relax, and heal the inhibitions, fears, and traumas causing the constrictions that prevent the fullest release and best experience possible. To experience the most profound levels of sexual ecstasy, the practitioner must be willing to release, even if only temporarily, the drive for explosive orgasms and surrender to a quest for self-discovery and healing.
Additionally, in modern times, with so much information available on sexuality, there is a growing eclectic approach to sacred sex. People are able to pick and choose the best from all of the ancient arts of sexuality. There is also a growing use of the sexual arts for healing, especially for issues like sexual abuse. Consequently, as people heal, they begin to experience themselves and others differently.
The sexual healing process involves learning the difference between healthy (spiritually-centred) and unhealthy (ego-centred) sexual encounters. For example, there are numerous characteristics that differentiate an ego-centred encounter from a sacred sexual one. The former involves a search for pleasure and the fulfilment of a sense of lack, while the latter is based on sharing of expansiveness, freedom, and unconditional love. The ego-centred encounter involves judgment, control, and selfish agendas. It’s motivated by the need to capture and possess a desired person (or object) who eventually becomes unfulfilling, which leads to the search for yet another person (or object). However, in a spiritual encounter, all relationships are seen as mirrors of the self, while the heart remains open to freely express and receive love without possessiveness. This freedom creates a feeling of inner peace and fills the body with trembling vibrations or waves of energy. Ultimately, each new (spiritually focused) sexual encounter is a fresh and loving experience that reflects the presence of the whole universe.
“Love is the secret key; it opens the door to the divine. Laugh, love, be alive, dance, sing, become a hollow bamboo and let His song flow through you.”
–Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
Although no single set of guidelines for practicing sacred sexuality is right for everyone, some common principles include the following:
1. Sex is one of the most powerful manifestations of intimacy and love.
2. The most profound experience of sex begins with individual self-awareness and healing.
3. Safety is a crucial part of an intimate, ecstatic experience.
4. Foreplay is an important part of intimacy and should begin with an awareness of your partner’s body and needs.
5. Sacred sexuality means paying more attention to prayer, meditation, environment, aromas, music, breathing, clothing, and intimate contact (smiling, kissing, gazing, biting, tickling, and touching).
6. Sex is not the goal in sacred sexuality–love is!
7. Orgasms are not the goal of sacred sex, so relax and enjoy all feelings.
8. Sacred sexuality can enhance all sensations, including orgasms.
9. When approaching an orgasm, you can choose to experience various levels of ecstatic release. There are physical orgasms (e-jaculations) and energetic orgasms (in-jaculations), as well as emotional, mental, and soul-level (total-being) orgasms.
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