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Ice can burn too - English short story

Ice can burn too - English short story

The image above is art from  Josh Corpuz (found it on Pinterest and let it inspire me) / De bovenstaande afbeelding is kunst van Josh Corpuz (ik vond de afbeelding op Pinterest en liet me inspireren)

She leaned her fingertips against the brink of the roof, while slightly looking over the edge. Her breath was steady and slow, forming little white clouds in front of her face. Her glaring green eyes examined the streets in front of her. The sun started to set and she could feel the shadows getting restless. They start to pull on her. She felt them aching some action. Keeping them calm during the twilight, their time of the day, always raised a challenge for her. A cold smile formed around her thin lips. This dusk the shadows would have the chance to play. She already longed for the calm sensation that would come over her after all this was over.As soon as she verified that there was no one watching her, she started moving. She already let the shadows a bit looser, while swinging her legs over the edge of the roof. For a second she just hung there, only her fingertips gripping the stone wall preventing her to fall. The shadows pulsed around her, covering her body, thinning out the harsh outlines of her figure. With a quick glance over the balcony two floors lower, she let go. The air caressed her face while she was making her way down. The moment her feet touched the platform, she caught the fall by going through her knees. She remained low against the ground, while her eyes searched the view in front of her. At first she noticed the cat that was sleeping in the middle of the couch. The pitchblack animal just drowsy lifted his head once, but immediately went back to sleep. Silently she thanked the shadows, that were doing such a good job at covering her up. Hushed she sneaked further to the window. Now that she could see more of the room, she was almost certain that the cat was the only living creature in there at the moment. Quickly she grasped in her pocket for two little pins. A frown rested on her face while she quietly inserted them in the lock. With a quick twist and a fainted click the door opened. This time the cat woke though. The little animal’s eyes grew larger than a tennis ball when the intruder allowed the shadows to take over the room. Hissing the cat rushed out of the room, with her ears flat on her head. Now that she managed to get inside the apartment, she could hear water running. With a light-hearted tread she started walking towards the sound. She had been afraid that this job might draw too much attention, but finding the target in the shower would only make things easier. Slowly she undid her knife from it’s sheath. The shadows prevented the blade from shimmering red, reflecting the setting sun. She rested her hand on the door handle, not allowing her to think about anything else but this moment. Her weapon in her hands, the target on the other side of the door. She could hear him humming a tune, while the water washed over him. She remained vigilant, while opening the door. Even though the person on the other side could never be a match to her skills, she still preferred a clean death, without that unnecessary fighting and struggling. The humming stopped while she creeped towards the shower curtain. Most of the time her victims get a bad premonition when she is in the same room with them, even though they can’t see or hear her. She was always so curious if they noticed the shadows darkening the place from it’s corners, or if they just feel that there’s someone else with them. Again a human mystery that she’ll never solve probably. As soon as she reached the shower, she grabbed the curtain and janked it away. The knife found it’s target on instinct, but as soon as it went into the back of the middle aged man, piercing his heart, she noticed the girl. In less than no time our killer lifted her arm and covered the mouth of the younger girl, preventing her to scream. Only to realize that she didn’t show any intention to make a sound. The knife was already pulled out of the lifeless body and halfway towards her next victim before she realised the girl was crying. Crying occurred quite often if she didn’t manage to kill her targets immediately and they realized that their time was come. Still,… These were other tears. Underneath the palm off her hand she could feel a smile forming on the girls face. Confused the killer let her knife down a little bit and even lifted her hand off of the girl’s mouth. While she tried to make sense of the situation, she could hear and feel the shadows playing with the soul of the deceased man. Even though the screams of anguish coming from the grey interstice distracted her, she soon saw the many bruises on the tender body of the girl and started to realise what was going on. The restless shadows started pushing her arm with the knife up again. It was clear they wanted the girl dead too, but for the first time the killer hesitated. For some reason she couldn’t bear to give this little girl’s soul to those hungry shadows. She realized that if she didn’t kill her, that the shadows wouldn’t give her a moment of peace until she managed to satisfy them with more death. Despite that and despite the fact that she is taking a great risk leaving a witness behind, she dropped her arm. With a little wink she pressed her finger against her lips, signing her to be quite about this, and took off towards the balcony. While jumping on the handline she took a final look back into the building. Peeking from behind the corner she could see a little blonde head with big eyes. She kept her gaze locked at the girl as she let herself fall into the nothingness.The moment the last smudge of red disappeared from the night sky, right before her body would hit the ground, she became one with the shadows and spreaded out in all directions, merging with the darkness of the night. 


Word lid en beloon de maker en jezelf!

Ik schrijf niet vaak in het Engels, maar wil graag mijn kwaliteiten op dit gebied verbeteren. Constructieve feedback wordt toegejuicht. 

Even snel en slecht opgemaakt, want mobiel: streats  = streets Ergens gebruik je "to" waar het "too" moet zijn: draw too much attention You "glance over", niet "glance to" 
01-04-2018 00:58
01-04-2018 00:58 • Reageer
Ik was gegrepen door de intro. Er zitten wel wat (kleine)taalfouten in, maar de lijn van het verhaal is goed. Fijne opbouw en je schetst een goede sfeer. Keep going! Hier lust ik wel meer van. 😁 
01-04-2018 00:52
01-04-2018 00:52 • 1 reactie • Reageer
Bedankt voor de feedback en de verbetering! Leuk om te horen en ondertussen heb ik weer bijgeleerd :)
01-04-2018 09:46
01-04-2018 09:46 • Reageer