MaferSlikp

· 18 Jun 2022

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Today I washed my hair

#childrensbookweek2022
“Today I washed my hair. For the first time in 4 weeks. It was so entangled that it broke every time I passed my hands. I cried as I washed and conditioned it, because I forgot what it felt like to run my fingers through it. I brushed my teeth, too, for the first time in a week. My gums bled. The water turned red. I also cried about it. When I got out of the shower, I couldn't stop smelling my hair and arms. I've avoided hugging people for a while, because I never smell good. I always smell like I've been in bed for a week. I don't have clean clothes, because I'm too tired and sad to wash.
Depression is not beautiful. Depression is poor hygiene, dirty dishes, and a body sore from sleeping too much. Depression is having only 3 friends who are close because they have the patience and love of a saint. Depression makes you cry until there are no more tears, it leaves you dry and sobbing until you are gasping for your next breath. Having depression is staring at the ceiling until your eyes burn because you forget to blink. Depression makes your family cry because they think you don't love them anymore when you're distant and distracted. Depression isn't just emotional, it's a vacuum you can feel physically.
Please don't be hard on your friends and family who don't have the energy to clean, hang out, or take care of themselves. And please, please, take it seriously if they talk to you about it.
We're trying. I swear we're trying.
Do you see?
Today I washed my hair”