How it could have been..

It makes me a little melancholic when I walk past the playground. My life could have been so different. When I see the kids play like that, I think of that little miracle that was forming in my belly. The baby grew there in peace.

Only.. at the time I just couldn't do it.! This wasn't the right time. I could never give him what he needed. I was so afraid he was going to live a loving life. That's why I took his life. I saw no other option but abortion.

And that remained my deeply preserved secret to this day. Only a few people have heard that from me so far.

But when I see them playing on the slide, the swing and the climbing frame, I think full of melancholy about what it could have been like. Over the years, my love for little Elijah - because that's what I've come to call him by now - has grown tremendously. And I see it for me how he scramps, slides and runs there.

What has been has been..

There are such statements like “Happened,” or “What has been,”. Does that apply in this case?? Does it have to stay my secret forever?? Or would there ever be a chance of recognition for this innocent victim?? After all, little Elijah can't do anything about it anyway.? And I have regretted my decision for years.

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