Md. Riday Khan

· 24 Nov 2021

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What is a narcissistic?

I am starting with personal experience. One of the girlfriends is very upset. He is sitting quietly. After a while, I see what is looking on the screen of the phone quite carefully. When asked, he said, "I'm looking at my own picture. I like to see my own pictures. I look at my picture whenever I'm upset. ”

Although it looked very strange that day, if you look around you can see that it is not really strange. Who in this age of selfies does not like himself or his own beauty. Although this attraction towards oneself is almost universal, in some cases the intensity of this attraction is so strong that they do not feel attraction towards anything other than themselves. People's eyes are blinded by self-conceit. Such people are called 'narcissists'. And their mental illness is called 'narcissism'.

The word narcissism comes from a story in Greek myth where Narcissus, a handsome boy, was attracted to his own form. According to the story, it was her beautiful appearance and her attraction to herself that brought her death. Since then, psychologists have used the term narcissism to identify people who have a strong attraction to themselves. But can we call someone a narcissist only if we are attracted to ourselves? No. The presence of a few special symptoms indicates whether the person is really a narcissist. Let's not know that there are 5 ways to identify the real narcissist.

1. A different attraction to yourself
Attraction to oneself is the first condition of a narcissist. There can be different types of narcissists, said Craig Malkin, a professor at Harvard Medical College. He said in an article in Psychology Today that two types of narcissists are the most notable. The first is a team that is extremely perfect. They are always asked about themselves. They are busy learning the ins and outs of themselves, which can be very annoying for others. Another group is those who cannot stand criticism. They are always worried about what others will see in themselves.

2. Lack of empathy
Joseph Burgo, a psychologist and author of The Narcissist You Know, said in an article about business narcissism given to Business Insider that one of the conditions for being a narcissist is lack of attraction to another person and want to keep yourself at the center of any discussion. Not only that, they do not have any headaches with the feelings of others. It can be said that a lot is ‘Insensitive’.

For example, if a narcissist is present in a group discussion and the topic of discussion is not the narcissist but something else, the narcissist gradually becomes indifferent to that discussion. For this reason, a narcissist is never a talkative person unless he is the subject of conversation. Not only that, in real life as well as in virtual life it is not possible to have a deep connection with a narcissist.

3. Lust for praise
While everyone likes to hear their own praises, in the case of a narcissist, it's kind of an exaggeration. Psychotherapist ‘Kathleen Schafler’ says extra praise is desirable for a narcissist.
"Narcissists always like to be the centerpiece," he said. Their demand is that everyone's attention will be shaken by their arrival.

4. Dignity in society
Psychologist Elinor Greenberg’ says in an article in Psychology Today that the most frightening thing about a narcissist is the attraction to rank.
He further added that the statement of a narcissist shows how weak he is towards social status. Their various comments,
Such as "Do you know how rich I am?" Or “the important people of the city will be there in groups. I have to stay because people will think I am not invited ”etc.

5. Self-centered
Psychologist Susan Heitler tells Psychology Today that the primary way to identify a narcissist is to examine how attentive he or she is to conversations with others. He says that for a narcissist, what he wants to say or what he wants to talk about is the most important thing. In making a decision, a narcissist has to decide for himself what he wants, what he wants from others for his own benefit, the advantages and disadvantages, and the feelings.


Narcissism is a mental illness. Due to this disease, narcissists are deprived of friends, family, and relatives. The disease should not be allowed to grow from an early age and if such a problem occurs, it is necessary to seek the help of a psychologist.


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