Why Defensiveness Is Holding You Back (and How to Overcome it With Real-Life Examples)
Defensiveness is a common human behavior that many people display when they feel threatened or criticized. Defensiveness refers to "the quality of being anxious to challenge or avoid criticism", this is completely different than defending yourself. It is a reaction that we humans tend to have to protect ourslves from perceived harm or attack. This often resulting in a negative impact on our relationships, personal growth, and overall well-being. Sometimes it even results in unwanted drama. In this article, we'll explore why defensiveness is holding you back and offer some tips on how to overcome it.
The negative effects of defensiveness
Defensiveness can have serious negative effects on our lives. It can prevent us from seeing other people's perspectives, inhibit personal growth, and damage our relationships. When we become defensive, we close ourselves off to new ideas and feedback. This can lead to missed opportunities and a lack of personal growth. Think about the latest case of Brent Rivera, where he was approached by another Youtuber who asked him if he was faking his videos.
Tyler Oliveira claimed that Rivera had been faking videos. Rivera's response was defensive and passively aggresive, and he failed to address the issue in a constructive manner. Instead of acknowledging Oliveira's perspective and working to resolve the conflict, he became defensive and aggressive, which only served to escalate the situation. He continued on insulting him and escalating the situation at the hotel.
- Tyler was unnecessarily removed from the hotel they were staying at
- Brent has received a lot of negative backlash and lost a lot of followers
- The police had to get involved
Defending yourself is not bad, being defensive can be
Defending yourself is not inherently bad, and in fact, it can be a healthy and necessary part of setting boundaries and protecting yourself. The key is to distinguish between defending yourself and becoming defensive.
When we become defensive, we often become closed off to feedback and perspectives that challenge our own. On the other hand, defending yourself can involve setting healthy boundaries and standing up for yourself in a way that is assertive but not aggressive.
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