Among all the things I have ever done, what I am most proud of is my good mood, my joy. You might say: what a nerve! What did she do for that? She was born that way!
That is true, but then again, it is not. I was born a cheerful, happy kid...
... and I developed into a happy young girl. Why wouldn´t I? Everything was going well.
Then, I lost my joy. For a year of my life I was very hurt, very angry, anything but cheerful. I didn´t hide my feelings, I showed them for the world to see. The sadder I was, the less people were pleasant and nice to me, the less they smiled in complicity with my clumsiness and my stumbles. This reality made me think and I decided to change. My first movement was the acceptance of the others help. Because there is always good people who help you when you have difficulties, no matter what your moods are. The problem was I didn´t accept it graciously, I was mad with that people because they were putting a stamp of deficiency on my forehead. I didn´t saw the kindness. The deficiency stamp was all I could think about.
After that first move I also forced me, bit by bit, to see the beautiful sides in everything. Because almost everything has a nice side. In short, I forced myself to be cheerful again. And, very important, I created a lot of rituals, rituals with things that really made me feel happy.
I began looking for, searching for, finally finding, the crazy, laughable sides of comments, situations, everything. And because I saw it around, I myself began saying funny things again. This made me regain laughing. And the world responded. People began smiling more and more often, not only at me, but with me.
This reaction, the way I feel I´m accepted, sometimes really loved, makes my life worth living.