
It was an ordinary, boring day in the life of Renesmee Cullen - a young vampire/human hybrid girl with big dreams that didn't matter in the tiny world she lived in.
She had rested her head on her palm, curled in a comfortable position on the window, listening to the sounds of the rain outside mixed with the radio and the booming fireplace. The rest of her family was either at school either at work. She wished she could have joined them so that she would at least have something to do with her life, alas there was a strict rule she had to obey - to not attempt to mingle with the society until she was considered old enough. Officially, she believed she had stopped ageing long ago, alas her family wasn't convinced. Her seventh birthday, the day it was believed she would cease to age, was months away and while that made Renesmee feel excited, her family was terrified that she would end up having an unexpected growth spurt. If that happened, then the way they introduced her to the outside world would have to change drastically.
The hybrid wished it was warmer so that she could at least have a good reason to attempt to convince the adults around her to let her go out for a walk with an old camera in hand. But instead, it was the season of raining like cats and dogs... she swore it rained less in England!
As she was thinking about how boring her life had been recently and how she wished something, just anything could happen to diversify it, she heard clacking of heels. It had to be her grandmother - who else? Her grandfather was at the hospital, working, while the rest of the family was at classes at the university in the city to complete their degrees. Renesmee was too young and not experienced enough to attend, of course.
"Grandma?", she raised her voice, sharply standing up from where she sat moments ago. She followed the sound of the clacking of heels all the way to the hallway where her grandma was adjusting the collar of her button-up shirt.
Esme turned to face her granddaughter with a smile on her face, "Oh, hey there, Renesmee! I'm just going to the store, do you want me to get you something, maybe ice cream?"
Renesmee's eyes lit up when she heard that her grandma was going out. Perhaps this could be a chance to get out of the house even for a little bit? And she could get snacks and stationery as well!
As if she was a child again, Renesmee dropped down on her knees in a praying position and begged: "Oh, please, please, please, take me to the store with you! Pretty please! With a cherry on top?" If she had to, she could force tears out of her eyes (not that it would be hard for her with the way she had been feeling recently) if that would convince her grandma to take her with herself.
Esme sighed before motioning to her granddaughter to follow her. She herself hated how Edward restricted his child so much, not allowing her to be young and free.
Renesmee didn't bother to take an umbrella with her. She had a hood that could protect her. And she wasn't afraid of the rain.
In the car, the hybrid attempted to turn on the radio for distraction when her grandmother suddenly spoke: "How are you, Renesmee? How have you been?"
The young girl shrugged, "I'm bored. Nothing's happening. Nothing ever happens."
Esme attempted to crack a smile to make Renesmee feel better, "I'm sure something will happen soon, sweetheart."
The hybrid snorted, "Yeah, right. When? I can't go to school. I am stuck inside all day, seeing only familiar faces, nothing new... ever," she turned to face her grandmother.
Esme looked away from the road to focus on her grandchild. The look in Renesmee's eyes was all too familiar. It was not the look of numbness most teenagers possessed and used to hide their true emotions behind a mask. It was a look of sadness instead. The vampire couldn't help but wonder what was bothering her granddaughter. It couldn't be simply the lack of freedom that came with being a hybrid.
Indeed that was it. Renesmee was in that age where she was deeply bothered by her origin. And not only that. Her situation of being a gifted vampire-human hybrid who wasn't meant to belong anywhere was upsetting her to the point where she sometimes wished she was never born. In her mind, it was better for her to have never been born rather than simply existing in a world where theoretically she could be anything she wanted to. Besides, the world would be a better place without her, wouldn't it be? Her parents would focus only on themselves and their education. Her mother wouldn't have nearly died because of the rough pregnancy years ago. The Volturi wouldn't have targeted her and her family. Overall, life would be calmer for everything and everybody.
Renesmee wished she could let it out and cry fearlessly, she wouldn't have hesitated to do so. Alas, it was once in a blue moon that tears would stream down someone's face. Vampires cried, but they had no tears. And she had never seen Jacob or his friends and acquaintances on the reservation shed any.
"Renesmee", her grandmother began, "I know you're still young and it may seem like the world is against you or doesn't understand you, but believe me, we've all been through this."
The hybrid was sat still, listening, while Esme was driving, "We've all wished at some point in our lives to never have been born. But think about it - if you weren't born, would you be here with me, going to the store? Would you be taught how to play the piano? Would you enjoy taking photos in the woods? Or what about your friends? Can you imagine what would Jacob, Seth, Embry, Quil and many others' lives would be if you hadn't been born?"
The hybrid's eyes were moving around, as she was attempting to imagine a world where she didn't exist, focusing on her grandmother's words. She hated to admit it but Esme was right. She had a valid point - instead of focusing on what-ifs, why not pour the emotions in real life and create beautiful things? The hybrid reminded herself to focus more on her piano training. Perhaps her emotions could inspire her to compose her very first works? Her father would be proud of her.
"Remember the little things in life that bring you joy. Whenever the cloud of sadness and darkness comes to cover the sky and to ruin the beautiful day, remember the sun, remember the trees, the smell of linden and rain," Esme spoke, trying to breathe motivation and courage in her granddaughter. That was supposed to be her parents' jobs, alas they were busy with obtaining degrees and had left Renesmee
Linden is a beautiful name, Renesmee thought to herself, smiling as Esme parked the car near the store. Sometimes it was good to have a deep conversation with someone.
#yoorskookstudio #iamnewhere
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