Dromen over Zwangerschap


Lieve allemaal, 

Na een lange ruime tijd niks meer geblogd te hebben, ben ik hier weer even om van mij te laten horen 😃.


Vannacht heb ik een mooie en bizarre droom gehad, ik droomde over een Zwangerschap. Dit is overigens niet de éérste keer. Een tijdje terug droomde ik hier ook al over. 

Het roept best veel vragen bij mij op zoals waarom droom je hierover?  Wat gebeurd er met mijn lichaam als ik hierover droom? 


Vanaf mijn 19e is het mij al helemaal duidelijk dat ik hierover fantaseer & droom. Om moeder te mogen worden van een pracht kindje. 

Het geeft mij heel veel gevoelens vanbinnen als ik hierover mag fantaseren & dromen. Zoals sommigen vrouwen zeggen het laat je eierstokken rammelen. 

Niks is mooier dan zo een wonder in je buik te mogen dragen. Het lijkt mij zo een bijzonder verantwoordelijke taak. Niets lijkt mij fijner dan het vanuit binnen tegen je buik te voelen schoppen om je zo te vertellen dat dit kleine wondertje er ook nog is.


Zoals jullie weten heb ik een vriend, dus die ontbreekt in ieder geval niet🙊. Hij is wel iets ouder dan dat ik ben, hij weet ook dat ik dit graag wil en het mijn wens is. Hij is op het moment wel al vader van een leuke puber.

Of hij nog een kinderwens heeft met mij dat is nog een beetje onduidelijk.. 

Wat mij echt stil heeft doen staan om een moeder te worden is  het gevoel en  de geboorte van mijn nichtje 3 jaar geleden . Ze viel altijd zo heerlijk bij mij in me armen in slaap, en als ik dan af en toe eens mocht oppassen legde ik haar, nadat ik het flesje gegeven had en een boertje had gelaten, op bed. Wat kon ze altijd zo heerlijk brabbelen en uiteindelijk lekker in slaap vallen. Als ik dan af en toe beneden aan de trap luisterde of ik haar hoorde na een paar uur, hoorde ik haar zo heerlijk spelen en schattige geluidjes maken😍😍.

Zooo mooi die kleine schattige vingertjes, ik kan er wel uren over fantaseren & dromen. Hoe het lekker kan huilen. Veel vriendinnen/klasgenootjes van mij zijn ondertussen ook al moeder geworden. Als ik wel eens lees dat ze het gehuil van hun kindje zo beu zijn denk ik bij mezelf kon ik dat maar eens horen. Ik zou het niet beu zijn, ik zou het vast pakken en weer laten glimlachen en uren bij me op schoot nemen. 

Ik hou er zo van! Ik hoop dat ik mezelf ooit ¨mama¨mag noemen.


Wat is het toch mooi om een vrouw te mogen zijn. Dat er een klein mensen kindje in jouw buik kan groeien dat vind ik iedere dag opnieuw heel bijzonder. Ik hoop dat ik dit over een jaar of 2 ook mag meemaken. Ik denk echt dat ik een goede moeder zal zijn. 

Helaas is het voor mij tot nu toe alleen nog maar fantaseren & dromen tot dat... Moment. 

Comment and receive 26 YP 26
Block Tower
Play with blocks. Good for the motor activity of children. Super fun to do and guaranteed great fun. #education
Comment and receive 25 YP 25
My friend is a woman
My friend is a woman - How I, as a straight woman, try to deal with my friend's transition from man to woman.“I want to be a woman.” - These words are still engraved in my memory as if he uttered them yesterday. In reality, he told me them at the end of last year, somewhere early October 2019. I fell from the sky. Of course I already knew that my friend was not a cliché machoman, and let that be exactly what attracts me so much about him. He is also autistic, because of which he can not always name his feelings and emotions, this is called “alexithymia.” We've been together for almost four and a half years now, and in the meantime, you know a thing or two about each other. For example, he told me that he used to wear dresses of his sisters for fun.Not a big deal, you might think. My mother had shortened and taken one of my father's overalls so I could walk through the mud with overalls and rubber boots and play farmer. However, what my friend never told me is how he felt when wearing those dresses, because he could never explain his emotions. Now this is still difficult for him, but with the help of a psychologist and sexologist, he slowly but surely comes out. He felt “right “when he wore those dresses, like he had to wear those dresses, and he always would. But he was born a man and his parents always raised him like that. My friend has a mustache, a beard, broad shoulders and a heavy voice. Nothing about him has ever made me - or anyone around me - suspect he's transgender.First appointment with the sexologist. - On October 14, he had his first appointment with a sexologist attached to a hospital in our region. That was a very difficult day for me, because my head told me he'd come back from the hospital as a woman. No, no, no. His sexologist helps him to (re) discover his orientation, his gender and who he wants to be. The appointments were supposed to come monthly. My friend has a counselor who helps him because he's autistic, and she's been with him once to the sexologist. I haven't dared to do it so far. After his penultimate appointment with the sexologist, he comes home and says, “I can start hormone therapy, it's really going to happen!” I can tell you that I felt terrified that day, and I had one panic attack after another and systematically hid it all from my friend. To this day, I still have panic attacks, although thanks to my new antidepressants, these are a lot less frequent.To the endocrinologist. - At some point, my friend's autism supervisor is sitting with us, and she says to him, “Oh yes, I have mapped out our train and bus routes to get to Mortsel”. I fell all the way from the sky. When I asked why they went to Mortsel and when, the counselor looked at me amazed. She thought I knew they were going to Mortsel together. No, no. Apparently, there's an endocrinologist. I had NEVER heard the word in my life, but apparently this is also called a 'hormone doctor', who is very concerned with diabetic patients, but also with people with hormone problems or, in this case, transgender. My throat was kind of pinched. Hormones already? A thousand and one questions popped my head in, and most of them are still there.The first hormone pill. - Yesterday it was then time: he was allowed to pick up the prescription for his hormones from the GP. He then did this and he immediately went to get the medication from the pharmacist. Yesterday he also immediately took his first two doses. I am terrified. Realistically, I know that no changes will be noticeable for the time being, but they will actually be there. For him, of course, it was great. He loves this whole process, he will finally become who he wants to be and he hopes to finally be truly happy. And I'll give him that. How hard I give him that.- Oh, my... But what about me? - I am straight. Of course, I can greatly appreciate the beauty of some women (who not?) , but I'm not attracted to women. My friend keeps telling me that he will not change much, but how can the transformation from man to woman be called “not much” now? What's going on with our relationship? I love my friend, but I really love it, and now I feel like I'm grieving. Because soon “my friend “will be gone. Then there's a woman in its place. He's not out of the closet with my parents, who are actually his parents, since his real parents have never been parents to him (are you still following?) , and plans to do this through a letter, because that way he can get out of his words more easily, and he can't tell them face-to-face, afraid of their reactions. He already wrote that letter, and I already read it. When he plans to send these to my parents, I don't know. But I'm also afraid of my parents' reaction. I'm afraid of everything right now. - This is the beginning of what is likely to become a long series. With this I give you a broader insight into my life at Yoo.rs, which is currently completely upside down. #transgender #holebi #hetero #lgbtq #persoonlijk