And then I lost myself... Part 1
Completely lost... no longer knowing who I am... And empty, so empty because I didn't come across my boundaries or I didn't feel them anymore. Confronting especially, if you have to go to the doctor and say that it really doesn't work anymore. I always thought I was strong. I've been way too strong and I didn't feel that I was actually on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
The worst part is that for the first time I had to admit that I crashed literally and figuratively.
My reactions were not mine, I couldn't understand my behavior and I didn't understand that I had no desire for anything anymore.
The pain I had, the grief was unprocessed and especially the many snacks onion my apple that were no longer filled.
The question: When did you really have peace? Well, I just couldn't answer that question anymore because I didn't know.
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