Completely lost... no longer knowing who I am... And empty, so empty because I didn't come across my boundaries or I didn't feel them anymore. Confronting especially, if you have to go to the doctor and say that it really doesn't work anymore. I always thought I was strong. I've been way too strong and I didn't feel that I was actually on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
The worst part is that for the first time I had to admit that I crashed literally and figuratively.
My reactions were not mine, I couldn't understand my behavior and I didn't understand that I had no desire for anything anymore.
The pain I had, the grief was unprocessed and especially the many snacks onion my apple that were no longer filled.
The question: When did you really have peace? Well, I just couldn't answer that question anymore because I didn't know.
Only then did I realize it's all been way too much. I've given far too much to others and I've always forgotten my own. I lost my apple. I only had a core left.
Fortunately, I know how to find it... my apple. How the pieces are filled, I have yet to learn. But I know one thing, I'm gonna be myself again. (to be continued...) #burnout