Forgiving infidelity is something that many people do not consider, either because they believe that they would not be able to forgive or because their values are very clear, and infidelity does not enter their mental scheme as something admissible in a couple. But is it really impossible to forgive infidelity? Can infidelity be forgiven? Is it good to forgive infidelity or is it a mistake?

The Consequences Of Infidelity Go Beyond Pain

Most people think that the great consequence of infidelity is the pain it causes to the partner, but in reality, suffering is only the first link in the long chain of consequences. And it is that, after infidelity, trust in the other person and in the relationship tends to break down. There is also a restructuring of the image of the couple, the illusion that the other person is our perfect "better half" is irretrievably broken.

On the other hand, infidelity also damages the self-esteem of the person who has been betrayed, since this person often thinks that they have not been good enough for the other and that they have not been able to satisfy their expectations and needs. In many cases, these ideas lead to an intense feeling of guilt, so that the relationship is not the same again. Betrayal changes the way of perceiving the other and of understanding the relationship and, consequently, the feelings that are experienced.

However, despite the many negative effects that infidelity generates, there are people who prefer to focus on the positive qualities of their partner and manage to overcome this obstacle and even strengthen their relationship. And it is not a decision dictated exclusively by the heart, but in many cases, it has been carefully thought out and demands a great deal of commitment from both parties.
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When To Forgive Infidelity?

Most people say that they would not be willing to forgive infidelity under any circumstances, but the truth is that when feelings and many years of relationship mediate, their perspective usually changes or, at least, they lose their certainty. The moment the infidelity is discovered, family and friends advise them, there may be children involved or even financial commitments acquired as a couple that binds them.

One way or another, the most important thing is that you make this decision consciously and without feeling pressured by other people. It is essential that you connect with your feelings and determine what you really want.

Some aspects that you can consider when deciding if you are in a position to forgive infidelity are:
- The degree of infidelity: Was it a temporary dating or a lasting relationship over time? How do you feel about that? How likely is it that it will happen again if you forgive him/her?

- The causes that motivated the infidelity: What deficiencies did your partner experience in your relationship? Is there a real possibility of meeting those needs? And, what is even more important: do you feel capable of filling these gaps despite the infidelity?

- The type of infidelity: Sometimes it is difficult to separate the emotional from the sexual, but there are people who say that purely sexual infidelity is not as painful as one in which there is some emotional involvement. How important has betrayal been to you?

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- The damage that betrayal has caused: We all do not react in the same way to infidelity, there are people who can easily turn the page and others for whom it represents a trauma. How deep are your wounds? Do you think they could heal completely and continue loving your partner without reproach?

- The possibility of regaining trust in the partner: Will you be able to trust the person again or do you think you will assume a jealous and possessive attitude? Even if the relationship changes, will it continue to satisfy you?

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