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· 02 Dec 2021

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How to Find Your True Voice

As a child, Angie was abused for many years. No one represented; no one protected him; the main perpetrator was a 'dear uncle', and Angie's parents would not hear a word of dissent.

Angie did not receive confirmation, did not support her and was not allowed to deal with it.

A few decades later, Angie, now a middle-aged man, was sent to a difficult situation, which made her realize that she needed to go back to her childhood.

He did all the right things: he found a mentor; enrolled in group treatment; he stuck to the system for a few years, waiting for the magical moment when ‘success’ would come, and he would finally be free from his difficult past.

But that did not happen.

What happened instead, that Angie found herself constantly remembering her trauma, and her sense of helplessness, emptiness and embarrassment, as her therapists always told her that ‘once she got her voice, she started to be independent’, her problems would be. they disappear and life can be great.

So Angie did as she was told, and tried to 'find her voice'. She started out angrily controlling her children; she violently began to demand things from her husband; he set the highest moral standards for the people around him - and little by little, he began to divide everyone.

Let us make it clear that strong boundaries and reasonable expectations are incredible. The problem was not that Angie was just beginning to realize her needs and express herself; the problem was that he was looking for a way to 'keep silent' in the wrong place.

The only person who would really make Angie get her voice back was ... Angie herself.

But before that could happen, a few things needed to change. The first and foremost change was that Angie had to return God to the image. In fact, that meant that instead of considering herself a 'victim', Angie had to somehow understand that the fact that she had endured such a severe test actually showed her spiritual strength.

God never sends a man to challenge him, though at the time he is sure he will crush you. And the fact is that if you do not have God in your image, your challenges can easily be broken.

Angie began to work on developing a faithful relationship with God, where she talked to Him regularly, and told him everything that was on her mind - including how angry she was with him, giving her so much childhood.

Once she reconnected with God, the next part of the math was for Angie to begin to reconnect with her real self.

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