In some relationships, sometimes it is difficult to know if there is a true healthy loving feeling, or if on the contrary what there is, is a dependency relationship. We are going to see some of the characteristics of a bond based on need instead of equality and reciprocity. Knowing how to differentiate love and dependency allows you to avoid entering into toxic relationships that will contribute little to your happiness and well-being, except perhaps experience (if you know how to learn from them).
Emotionally Dependent People
Logically, we are talking about people who have low self-esteem. They do not like to be alone because then the emotional emptiness seems unbearable, and they seek the company of friends, relatives, or even strangers to obtain that attention that helps them fill the emotional lack they feel.
As a consequence, people with emotional dependency seek their partners with the main motivation of receiving attention and affection, not to give and share love equally. Hence, they choose people who give them that attention even if those people do not suit them for many other reasons. What's more, many emotionally dependent people stay trapped in unsatisfying relationships for years, simply because they are afraid of losing the relationship and the associated attention.
Difference Between Dependence and Interdependence
How Do You Know If You are In an Emotionally Dependent Relationship?
- Dependent people tend to be very demanding regarding the care they receive from their partners. Because they need this attention to fill the emotional emptiness they feel, they will ask for more attention and will be angry if they do not receive it.
- Dependent people prefer to share as much time as possible with their partners, and therefore, they try to participate in any activity in which the other person is involved. When that is not possible, they seek emotional substitutes (family and friends).
- Dependent people hate loneliness because it confronts them with the emotional lack they feel.
- Dependent people may be in a bad relationship simply out of fear of losing him/her. Necessity prevails over happiness. Excuses are made that the relationship is not so bad. They may even think that they are perfectly capable of leaving the relationship, that they do not depend on the other person, and that one day they will leave, but they never do.
Why Dependency is Bad?
Dependency mechanics are incompatible with a long-term happy partner. It may be that in the early days, at the moment of falling in love, things work out because the dependent person receives the attention they expect, but later, when the situation evolves into a more mature and balanced relationship, they remain dissatisfied and begin to demand more attention provoking a negative reaction from the other person.
How To Stop Being Dependent?
The idea, as I said, is very simple: the person with the emotional emptiness has to understand exactly what he or she needs from others and start giving it to himself. Do you need someone to give you love to be happy? Why don't you give yourself love first? Give yourself love and attention. Value yourself.
A good test to learn to love yourself and be less dependent on others is to tame loneliness. If you're terrified of spending time alone, you should face it. Start doing things you like. Enjoy them. And little by little try to have more time just for you. A person who is happy alone is a person capable of sharing the love on an equal footing.
- The revenue of this ad will be returned to the Yoors members -