Steps of recovery you will think. Yeah, every day you get up and see how you get up.
But some days are worse than the others.
I'll take you into mine.
After a period of stress or period full of turmoil, I get tired.
In fact, it's so bad that I don't want to get out of bed.
The alarm goes, but my eyes won't open.
I get up with difficulty and I prefer not to do anything, do not shower, comb hair and everything you start the day with.
First a cup of coffee to wake up and then a shower.
Usually I need two hours to get a good start.
Continuously I talk in my head: "Come on, do not so crazy persevering and going!.”
I don't keep promises, don't read mail and I prefer not to come out.
If I didn't have my job, I'd be stuck on the couch for days with the remote control in my hand.
A Buddah very quiet and without movement in one place little emotion and numb but one wrong word or hard/ too much sound and bursts into a mood change.
Ups and downs a wave that flows that moves with where I am in that place and that moment.
When the worst stress is gone, I'm full of emotion and calm down.
To get to that place I worked very hard, many conversations with myself and empowering my positive feeling.
When the emotion comes overwhelmed it me, can cry for anything.
A movie and tears flow down my cheeks.
When something sweet is said or compliment, I feel extra embarrassed, and I let it.
In this phase I work hard to become one with my feelings and grab it.
If I can grab it and get it under control, I'll be one again.
It's kind of a disassociation, but it's just different. It feels the same torn in 2 feeling and thought.
When the 2, 1, I can go out and do my things.
Visit my girlfriends and do positive things.
My body needs to produce endorphins, the lucky substance that will make me take on the world again.
The strict regime begins again, because have the energy.
Walking, cycling, healthy eating and lots of vitamin.
Often the sun already helps because I have lived like a mole for ages, little light and unhealthy food with accompanying eating pours.
The voices then celebrate high tide and then take all my energy to regain my emotion.
Meanwhile, I have found many ways to control the mania that comes after and discharges.
The urge that you can handle everything, buy and collect.
I'm going to clean up everything I can get in my hands and buy what I need for it as well as creative things.
After this I calm down again and put my feeling on paper.
The most beautiful poems and eccentric drawings full of color come from my hands.
This gives me energy again and stand with both legs on the ground again, the circle is round.
Everything happens often in a few days but seems centuries when you read it that way.
It seems that way to my feelings.
It took me years to get to know myself and find ways that work for me.
This was an important process, so that my recovery takes shorter and shorter and can be there again for those who need me.
Stress is a big culprit but do not think of it as an enemy but always as an important learning moment about what touches me and recovery can use to climb the mountain because the fear, panic, depression, uncertainty and voices are my enemies but do not get the chance if I recover where my fear lies and stress stays away. #GGZ #stress #herstel #depressie #emotie