“Well, we've been taught from childhood that consuming makes us happy. It is not without reason that billions are spent in the wellness industry. I see that my less wealthy friends also desperately need their spa days, streaming services, whiskeys or festivals to recover from work.”

Coping mechanism by Ellen Deckwitz
A good friend is up. We had been saying for years that she was taking on too much, but she always waved away our concerns. She loved her work as a freelancer in fintech, went from prestigious project to prestigious project, and finally sat twelve hours a day (!) behind the computer.

Yesterday morning, I brought beta blockers.

“My mom doesn't understand that I'm overworked,” my friend said when she chewed one away, “because I go on vacation so often.”

She goes out at least four times a year, trying to de-stress. One time it's fourteen days of yoga on a remote island, another meditation retreat in the mountains of Turkey, or a midweek fast in the Pyrenees where you spend half the day lying in an infrared cabin while a countertenor sings kabbalah quotes.

And every other weekend, she went to a spa or hung out in the sauna for an entire Saturday.

“When I came back completely zen, I thought, gosh, I should do this more often, so I took on more assignments so I could continue to afford all those trips.”

“So indirectly, you've had a burnout because of your need to relax,” I said.

“It was a survival strategy,” she muttered. “But unfortunately not really efficient in the long term.”

Fortunately, with the money she has set aside for all those trips, she can sing it out for now, even with the current inflation. While I was cleaning out her dishwasher, I thought about coping mechanisms. My girlfriend made up for a grueling job with countless trips and calming treatments to regain her strength, but by the end she was just making money so she could rest from making money.

When I shared this with her, she shrugged.

“Well, we've been taught from childhood that consuming makes us happy. It is not without reason that billions are spent in the wellness industry. I see that my less wealthy friends also desperately need their spa days, streaming services, whiskeys or festivals to recover from work.”

She rubbed her temples with her fingers.

“Sometimes I think I was just working to recover from working.”

She loosened her hair.

“And in the end, the cure turned out to be more harmful than the disease, because because of the cure, the disease had to be maintained.”

NRC Ellen Deckwitz #destress #stress