Undesirable Childlessness

I always wanted kids, and I thought I'd start with my own family around 30. Unfortunately, for me and Marcel, we can never have children of our own. The reason I share my story is because there are more people who are undesirably childless. With this I want to support them, because there are only a few people who share this side of the story. Which also makes sense, because these people have a lot of grief that can take years. Remember, we are touched by every news when we hear from family or friends about being pregnant or their child is born. We are happy for them, but at the same time it also makes us sad.

In February 2017, my uterus was removed, which was a conscious choice for us. The doctors do not do this without medical reason. Certainly not, if you're young and want to have kids. Eventually, we had to make a decision on this, which we really did together. But I had to make the final decision on this, because it is still about my own health.

Actually, this story started for me before I had a relationship with Marcel. Of course, I told him that at 28 I had to deal with endometriosis and a malignant tumor, which turned out to be cervical cancer. From that moment, the real problems with my uterus began, which at some point began to control my life.

Yes, of course, we tried to get pregnant. Only I wanted this only after 5 years of being cancer-free, before I seriously started to get pregnant. Marcel fully understood this and in 2013 the doctor declared me cancer-free. The most beautiful words you can hear, because at this time you have won the cancer disease. The joy was for a short duration and I had to deal with a fibroid that grew in my womb. Which we discovered when we thought I was pregnant, because my period had been gone for two months. We were not quite sure, because the pregnancy tests remained negative. They removed these fibroids surgically and after my recovery. We tried to get pregnant again, because it was very clear to us that we really wanted to have children. Unfortunately, this did not succeed naturally and we started an IVF project.

We made a total of 2 IVF attempts and both times only 1 embryo came out. That is very little and disappointing when you have heard and read regularly, that often more embryos have come out in their story. Nevertheless, we were very happy with this, because it is better than nothing at all. Unfortunately, the embryo did not stay in my womb and both times we were very disappointed. These strong negative feelings, we didn't want that anymore, and that's why we didn't go for a third IVF attempt. Right, because I didn't know if a third attempt was going to work, and neither of us could deal with that anymore.