Make solitude negotiable and connect with each other


#eenzaamheidsvirus #eenzaamheid #verbinding #samen #mensen #bespreekbaar #coronatijd I read an interesting piece about loneliness this week.
King Willem Alexander mentioned during his speech that we can do something together against the loneliness virus. Because of this coronation, many people are forced to be at home or are not allowed to receive visitors anymore.
Loneliness is not only found among the elderly, but also strikingly among young people.
But is loneliness something that is now? And why is loneliness usually labeled “pathetic”?
Those are interesting things to talk about. Why do we often find it difficult and there is still a taboo that we do not discuss this with each other? Also, the thought that if you make a lot of friends and have to be more among the people doesn't work that way for everyone. That doesn't take away that lonely feeling for everyone.
There's a difference between social loneliness and emotional loneliness.
In social loneliness, we lack certain social contacts that we experience as painful or negative.
With emotional loneliness, the feeling is much more intense, and you miss someone you want to share your feelings with.
Loneliness can be temporary, but also develop chronically.
Factors such as poverty, culture and poor care play a risk that contributes to loneliness.


Sociologist Leen Heylen argues that loneliness is part of life and that everyone will recognize that feeling to a certain extent. She wrote a PhD on loneliness among the elderly and comes to the conclusion that our view on loneliness is often biased. Her 2015 survey showed that 25% of older people felt lonely, but 75% had a nice social life, but that 75% were not spoken about.
Loneliness is often also unjustly put in the news when it comes to being that we are all too much I-focused in society or that it is because of social media use, but loneliness is not just of this time.
In the past, loneliness was already there among our grandparents and then there were also people in, for example, a bad marriage and felt lonely for many years. They went on, there was no talk about it, they saw no way out.
Loneliness has always been there and will remain.

What we need to do is make it negotiable and break certain clichés.
Loneliness is not always or often visible.
When someone loses a partner, we find that all very sad and sad and is socially accepted.
We often feel sorry, but we go back to our lives. He still feels lonely. Being a listening ear to those and being there for them is crucial that they do not end up in a vicious circle of loneliness. Other groups of people, such as caregivers who need to be ready day and night to care for their sick partner often have no time for social contacts and become lonely.
But also within the relationship, there is often no moment in which you discuss your loneliness, because you do not want to burden your sick partner with it. All these kinds of feelings are not weird, but belong to loneliness.

There is also a difference between the need for social contacts.
Some people like to have a big circle of friends, others like to have a few friends. Still others feel most comfortable when they are on their own.
It does not have to mean that those who are in themselves are “pathetic” or lonely.
Someone who has a large group of social contacts may just as well feel lonely.
It is important to maintain social contacts that are desirable for you and above all it is very important to be in touch with yourself.
What is important to you, what do you need and what needs someone else?
This way you connect with yourself and connect with other people and between the people themselves.
This is very important to combat the loneliness virus.
Connect, together, make it negotiable every time! @Henkjan the Warrior made this post about what we as Yoors can do together against the loneliness virus.

The Online Yoors Café has also been opened as a result of this post to have a meeting place where we can go for a chat, a music and a listening ear.

There are for each other. Connect. That is the power of Yoors!

Source: https://www.weliswaar.be/een-andere-kijk-op-eenzaamheid