The wine horticulturist
In search of fortune, I have always taken on several jobs, because getting rich has always been a kind of hobby of mine, it just makes shopping a lot easier. That getting rich had varying success, I must admit in all honesty. One of the jobs with which I hoped to make a lot of money was manufacturing tons. No tons of money (unfortunately), but rain barrels and every now and then even a real wine barrel. That last type of ton, of course, asked a bit more of my extraordinary abilities, but I do like a challenge in time.
For example, at one point we had to manufacture a wine barrel for Baron Jacobus van Slooten, a man who drank wine in accordance with his surname. So it had to be a huge thing. If you saw this barrel along, you would have two sturdy rowing boats with which you could probably cross wild rivers. Ideal if you want to make an emergency connection to the other side, but otherwise such a ton is rather impractical and in any case, the construction of such a specimen is quite a chore.
If the manufacturing was already a chore, that was nothing compared to the tour we had to pull out to get the thing delivered. With a large low loader, on which the barrel was secured with a kind of mega-sized car seat belts, we went on our way. It just fit the narrower roads and I unfortunately have to say that many a birdhouse died during this trip. The last birdhouse we encountered was more firmly stuck than thought and desired, and I must say that we were raided by that anyway. We heard a nasty sharp sound and then immediately followed by a strange, clocking murmur. Then an unmistakable wine scent dawned upon us. Not unpleasant in itself, but still very unexpected and certainly not desired. It got worse when the whole car came off the ground and we continued our way in a red wine river. How we were sure it was wine? Simple, that's a matter of tasting. With distilled wine you can taste once, with good wine a little more often and with excellent wine it is difficult to stop. The end of the song was that when our wine vessel was back on the ground, we were quite tired. And unfortunately that ended my career as a wine ton builder
