#health

Sometimes I'm ashamed, to what do I owe my insane health? Why have I survived, over and over again, the horrible things that have killed others? What is it? Happiness? I've seen a lot of people die. Some are old age, for a few it has been a conscious choice, but most of all due to illness. It's always been intense experiences. And I always ask myself, why do they, and I don't?

Sometimes I get tired of it. I don't want it anymore. I don't want to fight with pain all the time. I no longer want to fight against unlawfulness that is the cause of innocent people. I don't want to take care of the worries I should be educating. I don't want to live any longer. It's ready. I'm done with it. Why can't I just die? I was supposed to be dead a long time ago, right? I'm tired of seeing others go around and wondering why she is, and I'm not?

Depression doesn't fit someone like me. After all, am I not insanely healthy? Sure, I still have some pains, I usually trivialize them, I wave them away, like, well, at least I'm alive. I should be thankful for letting me feel pain. Be thankful that I can keep my head above water again and again. Grateful for all the people around me who surround me with love. Sure, I limp occasionally, and I still have frequent bodily failure, but it always works out. So much luck I have to reward with cheers, hurray, hurray, I live! Depressions are strange elusive malignant neoplasms. They work about the same as cancer cells. The subprocess is sometimes smothered in the bud, sometimes the proliferation is stopped, the medication occasionally turns on and just when you think you've overcome it, it resurrects its head.

Sometimes I'm ashamed of those devastating thoughts. Then I'll dwell on those I've lost. I experience the pain. I'm slurping from the memory. I'm getting renewed energy. I'm alive. Hooray. I bring myself relief, too, because it suits someone like me. A rasegoist.

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Among other very relevant issues, you approached the big issue of the unanswered questions: I do believe that trying to understand better the "whole picture" is one of the main purposes of individual life. Sharing is another. I'll keep reading you, I understood from my experience on Yoors (since last August) that you are committed to sharing.
Thanks you for your beautiful words @Teresa Seia
You are here because quite simply your time on this Earth is not up. And if it isn't up it means that there is a purpose for it.
@Mónica lately I think more and more often, I have to do something with it, share my experiences, it is what I still live for. Then I can go with peace of mind and no longer multiply
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😘❤️ En toch doe je het goed zoals je het doet..
Dankjewel voor je bemoedigende woorden @Mirelle-Creametkids
Lekker kunnen schrijven, ook een mooi lichtpuntje.
Ja, dat ervaar ik ook als een stralend mooi lichtuitroepteken zelfs@Naturefreak
als je niet meer had willen leven was je er al niet meer neem dat maar van mij aan. En ik heb het al vaker gezegd ik ben er blij om. Blijf positief meis er is genoeg om voor te willen blijven leven.💖💖💖😘😘😘
Depressies zijn heftig, ook ik weet er alles van. Maar ik voel me niet schuldig dat ik leef. Leven is moeilijker dan dood zijn. En iedereen is maar één dood schuldig en we gaan allemaal een keer. Dus "waarom zij wel en ik niet", daar heb ik geen last van. Eens ga ik ook.
Eens gaan we allemaal , die berusting heb ik ook@The Original Enrique
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mijn ziekte is mijn vriend , die altijd bij mij is .
Blijven lachen, er zijn altijd mensen die het erger hebben.
Gelukkig ben ik me daar ook terdege van bewust @Albert van den Berg, ik blijf ook altijd lachen, meestal is het zelfs gemeend, vaak hoon ik mijn gezeur zelf weg, soms verschuil ik me achter mijn masker. Maar altijd wint het gezonde verstand en niet te vergeten de humor het van de neerslachtigheid.
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rauwe rand morbide/survival modus