Last Friday it was so far. X had to go to court for a call. He had received a letter from the court stating the time and a description of how it would go. I told him I'd come along and my partner offered to take us. He said he didn't care about it, and he heard it was nothing. However, I thought it was a bad idea to let him go alone. I think he thought it was weird that I wanted to come with him because I don't think he's used to it.

It's all so weird for me. But I am not an expert in experience. I can't imagine that you have parents who let it go this far and that as a child you think it's normal to do your own thing without trusting anyone standing behind you or next to you. But that's his world, and I want to show him so badly that it can be different.

Arrived at the court we were told the case number and in which corridor we had to wait so that we walked neatly. It was not entirely clear to us whether the mother and stepfather would be present. There was no mention of that in the letter. I assumed that this would be the case or that those people would at least be heard after him. He assumed, based on the information contained in the letter, that they would not be present. Since he has only seen 1x mother in the seven weeks that he lives with me and wants absolutely no contact with stepfather, he had not seen that either. The possibility that he might run into them was the second reason I wanted to come along, like some sort of buffer. It seemed like such a lonely situation for him different.

We were there for a while when I did see the parents walking. An uncomfortable “hello” followed as they walked past us and they sat down on the next bench. X didn't respond to them and stayed busy on his phone. The parents asked a question every now and then and X answered but it didn't go very well on both sides. After some time a gentleman came out of the room where the hearing would be and who asked if we were present for the next case. I suggested X and confirmed that on which he introduced himself to X and the parents. He was present on behalf of the Council for the Protection of the Child. I asked him how it would go, and he told me that soon everyone will go in and that the judge will ask X if he wants to speak to the judge with or without parents. If he chooses without, the parents have to leave the room again and there will be a conversation with the judge under 4 eyes. He also has to leave the Chamber and only the Registrar remains present. After the conversation everyone can go back in, X leaves the room and briefly tells the judge what has been said and discussed and the parents are allowed to have their say. Then X comes back in and a verdict follows. Both X and the parents had listened and that was the purpose of the question. X could now think of what he would like and the parents could prepare for both scenarios.

Shortly after that, they were all called in. I stayed in the hallway. I don't know if I could have come in, but I thought that this is something I don't belong to. I wondered what X would choose but soon the door opened and both the parents and the gentleman of the Council came out again and he noted that it was now as it was in most cases. The conversation with the judge took quite a long time for my gut. When he was done it was the parents turn and that took less time than the conversation with X but I didn't clocked it. At that time, I didn't know whether the judge would immediately give a ruling. The stories I had heard about that in advance were not unambiguous but I actually assumed that this would not be the case.