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Dana
Dana
@dana1671119022 · 29 Jan 2022
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Over narcissen uit Keulen

Het is weer eens flink noodweer, niet alleen buiten, ook binnen vliegende vonken eraf. Manlief kijkt alsof hij het in Keulen hoort donderen als ik mijn ladyshave aan de kant knikker en hem eens goed de waarheid vertel.
"Ga je zelf maar eens scheren, ik ben het zat om altijd maar met gladde oksels, benen en stofzuigermondje rond te moeten lopen. Helemaal voor dat lullige bosje narcissen wat je eenmaal per jaar voor me meeneemt."
Hij trekt gelijk van trapleer* tegen mij.
"Pech! Wanneer je wilt dat de ooievaar nog eens langskomt, zal je toch die sapcentrifuge van je wat moeten bijhouden. Het is zo moeilijk toch  niet?"
Hij pakt ter illustratie zelf zijn scheermes en bewerkt daarmee zijn zakie.
Een flits, meteen gevolgd door een rollende donderslag doet zijn mes uitschieten. Het gevolg is een jaap in zijn japie. Zijn ballen verschrompelen tot ze eruit zien als mislukte pindarotsjes en hij gilt als een mager speenvarken.
Och toch, wat een aansteller. Scheert hij zich een keertje, gaat het mis. Ik doe hetzelfde al jaren voor hem en ik heb nog nooit gegild. Alle mannen zijn zeikerds, denk ik, maar zoals het een goed echtgenote betaamt, haal ik mijn EHBO-kit maar weer eens tevoorschijn en leg een netjes rekverbandje aan.
Buiten woedt de storm nog wat na, in huis is inmiddels de rust weergekeerd, de kalmte bewaard, de lucht geklaard en ik nog steeds behaard.

*dichterlijke vrijheid

Note van de schrijver: Dit is slechts een onzinverhaaltje bedoeld om te amuseren. Ik heb noch de behoefte om de ooievaar op bezoek te krijgen, noch om rekverbandjes aan te leggen.

#shortstory #schrijven #verhalen #humor     

Afbeelding van FelixMittermeier via Pixabay

  • Comments (38)
Rudy Siedlecki 🌳
Something different than tulips from Amsterdam. Very well written, but as a sensitive man, it's hard for me to laugh with the razor scene. 😨
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Ingeborgenzwerm
A very good afternoon, dear Dana, what a lovely humor during such a story, thanks I had to laugh very much about it.
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Maria
I loved the story is for laughing, also the photograph of lightning reminded me of my land where we have a ray that flashes all night, thank you very much
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Kj
sparkles Tremendous fright the one who took must still have the hair on end is that rainy times must be respected even more if they are times of thunder lightning and sparkle good publication friend
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Juli.carmen
You have a lot of skill and imagination when writing that post, tremendous fright, he got away with that lightning that sounded and caused him so much fright.
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AleLiebe
Wow, what powerful poetry you created.
It really transmits that energy of surprise and fright at the same time.
Thank you partner for sharing this precious writing with each of us.
Congratulations
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Arukah Tsur
Hey Dana, there are twists and turns in life. I for one so not let my wife shave me. I cannot afford that. With my sense of dry humor she may just decide to slit my throat 'accidentally' of course! 😂
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Carolina.kat
Very good post I really didn't expect it 🤣 is always good a touch of humor in life
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Dana
@Carolina.kat a touch of humor every person can use, no clean-shaven 'whatever' can handle that
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Bella
Wow, what deep feelings this writing has caused in me. Also, what an incredible imagination it gives me to look at the image you posted.
And what a great scare I have had in the part of the knife, and surely I know that he too hahaha.
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Dana
@Bella i don't know if i should like to write done right now or just a simple sorry
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bloguerouniversal
I laughed a lot, I don't know if the translator did his job badly, but what I read was very funny ha ha ha
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Dana
@bloguerouniversal it must have been the translator, I'm not that funny at all (according to my husband, huh? 😁)
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naf1971naf
hahahaapelos everywhere @Dana and it was not necessary to do some cures or if
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torres.anthonny
I don't know if it was my translator but did he get hairy? hahahaha after so much, apart from this touch and humor, the truth has a deep message this writing, and an excellent narrative. Thank you.
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DR. Marrufo
Using metaphors to describe reality, the poem is a bit loud but it describes the crudest part of everyday life.
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Daniel
It is a peculiar fiction story, you are a good writer, you know how to analyze situations well and give a very complete story, good work
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Dewaputra
Well succeeded as a nonsense story, I would say. I'm glad it's all happy but fiction, otherwise it wouldn't be good anyway.!
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Alberto
The story made my hair stand on end hahahahahaha, well always do not share a very wonderful content Compañera I congratulate you on the same
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Freli
Haha was furry I love reading that part is also something from a poetic story with touches of humor
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Gollo
I really loved it hahaha very funny poor good hairy and that's how things were at least calm hahaha.
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rockstar
hahahaha you made my day I don't know if it will be because of the translator but I think I read something about having hairy armpits there are cultures that admire hair in those parts in women I support you don't shave
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Leo 1
Yes and so sometimes on the most disastrous days as far as the weather is concerned, the stories spontaneously float up in the mind of a writer.
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Alfred
Well, thunder are those that can make a night something annoying, or even scary, fascinating story
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Chela
I'm afraid of thunder too, so I don't blame him for that accident, a good story.
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leninJM
hahaha they should have tried being hairy if they are already married so that they bother to prune. I felt that cut hahaha
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marijke
i'm double over my keyboard 😂😂😂😂😂
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Naturefreak
Big alike, let nature take its course:)
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enigma
A stretch bandage. haha. Is there also a scab on that. ? That does not stretch when there is movement in it. Then does it come loose? ? Do you have a scar? ? Meat sprawl ? (Well, that kind of questions I ask myself.)
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Chalija
I'm not getting back, great 🤣😂
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